NLO 805: Banana Hook
Comedians AL JACKSON and DANNY LOBELL are in the studio. The show starts with Al dubbing Danny “Dancing Dan”. Nobody seems to know why. A caller wants to know if Patrick has seen the TV show Spartacus. No, but Al knows all about the show’s dying cast. According to Patrick moms say you can’t even taste crappy pizza toppings. So why even bother ordering them? Danny knows a black guy who doesn’t eat chicken. Sounds like a myth. Did you know that KFC’s secret recipe contains cotton? Patrick cries watching Magnolia and Danny cries watching School of Rock. Jack Black just hits deep man. Real pothead talk from Al as he questions how long you can keep a reality show running using the events of your life so far. Danny wants to talk about racist radio hosts, so Al blows the whistle on Patrick and we revisit the song Do the Laundry. Danny is obsessed with kitchen knick-knacks. Banana hook anyone? Patrick is a total woman when it comes to DIY, but he ain’t afraid to go 2D on a caller’s ass. Who’s familiar with “walk-up prostitutes”? Is that even a thing? Al’s a member of the Josh Denny club, ‘cause he fucked his foreign maid. On top of that he almost fell in love with a Costa Rican girl. Disgusting. Al premieres a new bit: Comics be Dyin’. We watch a video of a stupid public access host who can’t hang-up on a caller. Patrick questions listener Colin on his chances of becoming the official shirt vendor. Patrick thinks that Joan Rivers is an entitled piece of shit and that his daughter is a total bitch. All based on reality TV of course. Remember that time Patrick and Al showed each other pictures of their dicks? We sure do. Patrick gets back to pizza, this time of the cilantro variety. He’s not a fan, but he’s picky, you should know this by now. Especially if you’re his girlfriend. Patrick’s girlfriend signed him up to a tea of the month club, which is weird because Al believes Coke is the most popular drink in the world. Starving Africans love it. Al is not a fan of Patrick’s pretentious behaviour, which means black guys will never be on the show again. Every comic has a podcast, but none of them treat it seriously. Al is the new Alli Breen when it comes to being late. We retouch on upholstering car seats with dead babies. Listener Colin’s shirt calls for the Is it Gay? jingle. We finish the show by taking a look at a video in which two crazy women run into oncoming traffic. They’re British, so it’s an uplifting story for us Americans.
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