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NLO LIVE: Aaron Imholte Can’t Bang, P.O Box Surprises, Discord Drama! (June 22, 2023)

June 26, 2023

Happy Thursday, you very special children! Patrick is gunned up for today’s show, because he was eating peanut butter for breakfast. We take a trip to the ol’ P.O. Box to see what listeners have sent in. One listener insults Patrick with a package of skin care products, and another seems brimming with treats that will need to be individually unpacked live. KC Armstrong seems to be ignoring Patrick’s attempts at burying the hatchet. We try to find out about the latest discord drama involving Dirty Dalish and our own Ian Hawk, but are sidetracked by an emergency watch session of Steel Toe Morning Show. The midwestern grift clowns are having an on-air fight and are breaking down over their own sex confidence. Mooby keeps trying to shut April up to make up for his own shortcomings in the bedroom. Grab your socks and swim for it, sailors! …

NLO LIVE: Mooby’s Info Moat, The Blondecast (June 20, 2023)

June 26, 2023

It’s Tuesday and Patrick has had another horrific night of sleep, but he’s such a show soldier that he’s here for you anyway. We have some big things coming up this week and you’re probably going to want to listen. Las Vegas comedian Casper ThaGhost has a new podcast and he’s been very sneaky about it. Butch Bradley has a friend with a dream. Patrick owes Suli an apology, but he also manages to work in some digs at the same time. Aaron Imholte gets caught up in a big flex while coping with his inability to hit 10K subscribers. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (June 1, 2023)

June 1, 2023

It’s Thursday, and after a full day of not talking, Patrick has a lot to scream about and you people had better listen. Patrick bans James Banks for hitting the same note on the piano over and over for the entire first hour of the show. Beating jokes to death is Patrick’s job. Speaking of that, please pre-order Patrick’s special – link below. He doesn’t want to look like a loser. Ray is not a mean guy but Patrick doesn’t want anything to do with him. Ray can’t stop being anxious during a show. He is overprotective, ignores other people when they talk, and is notoriously opinionated about stuff he doesn’t full comprehend. And he doxxes his friends! Patrick goes through the PO box to find some cool fan creations as well as a lot of things to wipe with. Patrick issues an apology to a chatter who he may have seemed unfair with on Tuesday, and much more!
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MELTON in the MORNING! Wordless Wednesday (May 31, 2023)

June 1, 2023

It’s WORDLESS WEDNESDAY, and Patrick won’t be speaking today. Then why do a show? What’s the point? This is stupid? That last one isn’t a question, but you’re most likely some kind of aut, so we here at OnionCorp forgive you. Patrick didn’t want to spend one day without the companionship that is the NLO chat room and it’s wide band of personalities. Patrick will be taking calls, silently reading superchats, and listening to your creations from our NEW AI VOICE SYSTEM! Anything can happen, and the world is what you make it. So don’t touch that dial. Stick around to see how NOTHING can be EVERYTHING and more! …

MLC Aftershow – May 4, 2023

May 7, 2023

Patrick is scheduled to appear on Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan and Bob Levy on Thursday, May 4, 2023. Come join Patrick and whoever wants to call in and give their opinions after the show on the most controversial onion on the internet? Who did Patrick cuck out to? Promise you’re never gonna listen again? Is Patrick the new Stuttering John? We’d love to hear your hottest takes about the MLC universe right here! Chad Zumock calls in. Ray Devito calls in, Patrick gets all the hot takes from the chat. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 31, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and it’s been one hell of a week for our favorite couple, Aaron and Ape of the Steel Toe Morning Show. With Aaron hot off his interview with Ray DeVito in what’s being called the most softball circle jerk on the internet this year, he’s sure to be doing extra victory laps and drinking huge glasses of gloat milk. Let’s join together to see how strong the velcro holding Mooby’s girdle is as his tits will surely be perky this cold Minnesota morning. We will be taking listener submitted drawings of what they think April’s mom might look like. Get your Crayons out! …

MEMBERS ONLY – March 24, 2023

March 26, 2023

It’s Friday and Patrick has a special show just for channel supporters that you aren’t going to want to miss out on! Patrick is concerned about Michael Ray Bower and his recent videos which seem to indicate that he doesn’t really have a good place to sleep at night, and we confirm it by revisiting his old Bower bachelor box apartment tour. We take a preview look at Zach Halverson, who is destined to be the new floating second mic at the Steel Toe Morning Show. Zach seems to suck at comedy, singing Christian rock songs, and also being straight. That’s right – Aaron Imholte’s new funny man is gay, and that could spell trouble for Aaron Imholte, who loves using that word as a slur. …

Steel Toe Shine Box Volume 6

March 12, 2023

Aaron and April Imholte from the Steel Toe Morning Show is running in circles trying to cover the attacks from all around them, and the problems are about to get a lot worse. Patrick shows receipts that prove he is not, in fact, clout chasing Steel Toe, but rather that Steel Toe has been trying to get Patrick to come on the show repeatedly. Aaron’s mods are feeding Patrick information, and we also get some leaked DMs from Aaron trying to explain his past and the current looming legal worries. Something about his excuses and explanations don’t make sense. More importantly, the Steel Toe Morning show is breaking several state and federal laws, including multiple consumer rights protections, FTC and FCC regulations governing sweepstakes and lotteries. …

Steel Toe Shine Box Volume 2

March 12, 2023

The investigation of Steel Toe Morning Show and Aaron Imholte continues, by venturing in to the news archives to find out why Aaron quit terrestrial radio. Is he just doing a bad impression of his radio heroes to try to gain some sort of hardcore rep? We listen to an old show that sounds creepily familiar, and hear a different energy from the Aaron Imholte of days go by. Is there a level of hypocrisy to the Aaron of today when compared to his past self? Why won’t he just admit his priorities and personality has changed? Why try to spin the retreat as a win? We watch some tapes that expose Aaron’s relationship with his parents and his ex-wife. Is April sensitive? …

Aftershow 1459: Zumock Unhinged!

March 9, 2023

The ordeal between Steel Toe Morning Show and comedian Chad Zumock continue. We listen to Steel Toe’s Aaron Imholte try to make his case more and more that Chad is an unhinged and broken danger to himself. And with some of Chad’s most recent videos, we can’t say that it’s hard to agree. Patrick is a little taken aback by how graphic and far Chad goes with some of his rhetoric and insults when it comes to Aaron. Perhaps the comments about April are even more distasteful, if far funnier. Listen as Patrick sets Chad’s amazing rants to some banging beats for the hip hop sensation of the summer. Who will win this epic battle of comedic wits? it’s too early to tell! …

Aftershow 1446: A Donkey Lips Christmas

December 27, 2022

Remember the show Salute Your Shorts on Nickelodeon in the 1990s? Of course you do, you little rapscallion. Donkeylips, aka Michael Ray Bower, has been an actor his whole life. But a few years ago his parents passed away, he ran out of money, and moved in to the saddest apartment in Hollywood and started cooking tacos in his own toilet. This latest update from Camp Anawanna’s favorite fat fuck is even sadder than the ones before it. Pour some egg nog, maybe fry up some toilet tacos or another disgusting snack, and sit back and listen as Michael Ray Bower tells us why things have been so hard for him for the past few years. God speed, little friend! …

NLO 1440: Is Comedy Broken?

November 9, 2022

Patrick is in a mood as the show kicks off and he has frustrating issues with his Mac and iPad. Patrick talks about the return of PM in the AM which will exclusively be available on RokFin and the Overdose. There’s never been more options for content creators to lose money on! Comedy is changing, and comedy in Las Vegas is a weird creature on its own. Patrick rants about comedians who constantly headline bar shows over and over and over and continue to advertise them like it’s special every week. Patrick rubs weed dust in his eyes and has to scream for seven minutes about it. The Paprika Show is one of the most revealing and sad productions on the Las Vegas comedy scene. We listen to an ex-UFC fighter and a hairdresser talk about nothing. …

SPECIAL: Hunting of the Ghost

October 24, 2022

Nobody Likes Onions is proud to present one of its deep dives! For fans of conspiracies and the mentally ill, Patrick is proud to present Casper ThaComic, Las Vegas’s very own bad-boy rapper turned chuckle cuck. But who is this comedy newb who showed up in Vegas pounding his chest? Agent O has provided the show with so much information on the previous career attempts of this young try hard. Before his fledgling attempt at comedy for the past 9 months, Casper ThaComic was Casper ThaGamer, and before that, he was Casper ThaGhost, a lower-tier battle rapping nerd with the sporadic cadence of a Tourette’s school marching band. We go through the battles, from the rap stage to the gaming console, both virtual and verbal. The cringe is real …

Sunday Funday – May 15, 2022

June 15, 2022

Patrick returns after hunting for sharks in the Andes and he has souvenirs for all the children, and receipts and health tips for the elderly. Patrick talks about his recent activities in the Las Vegas comedy community. We listen to Thai Rivera and wonder how a man can be so delusional and project as much as this comedy zero. We watch him show off another video of a show that is super empty, cringe and embarrassing. It’s worse than can be described. Patrick talks more about Butch Bradley and his “issues.” This s a wholesome family show about how to cope with your worldly desires while balancing your relationship with the almighty. Enjoy! …

NLO 1412: Doggy Door Drunk

March 24, 2022

Patrick is back after weeks of not doing shows, and while he was a little under the weather, he isn’t going to use that as an excuse. The truth is, sometimes a man has to step away from the digital and get in touch with the material world. And sometimes a man has to cut a hole in his house to put in a doggy door. And sometimes a man has to blab in to a microphone while drinking scotch. On this show, Patrick catches listeners up on what he’s been up to as well as answers questions about tough accusations from other comedians. We talk about Roy Johnson, old friend and co-host of the show, and how he’s completely lost it when it comes to joking around. …

NLO 1402: Checking Chad

October 22, 2021

Patrick is on the road, and that means less frequent podcasts, slower uploads, and disgruntled listeners everywhere. It’s ok, kids. You’ll be fine. More shows are on the way. On this episode, Patrick sits down with comedian Chad Zumock to talk about their week working in Tulsa, Oklahoma, as well as various topics in the world, from the ongoing nightmare of the pandemic to Brian Laundrie and his insane caper to escape the authorities. Chad is also in the middle of a feud with his fellow podcast host an friend Kevin Brennan revolving around Chad’s friendship with comedian Dave Landau. Kevin doesn’t like Dave and he apparently thinks that Chad shouldn’t be friends with him either. …

NLO 1394: Gossip Brunch

July 20, 2021

Patrick sits down on a Sunday to have a little hang with you, the loyal listener. Patrick gabs with the chat a bit, as there’s quite a bit going on that’s grinding his gears. Patrick is sipping on Starbucks coffee, which he had delivered. He’s aware that this is the epitome of white girl privilege, but that’s how he rolls. Brad is sick, and has cost a fortune in emergency vet bills. Her digestion isn’t running smoothly, and Patrick is worried about his white tiles and grout standing up to doggie brownie batter. Patrick is thinking about possibly attacking his swim spa salesman, who has misled and pressured him with sleazy sales tactics and is now saying it will be 9 more months before Patrick will be swimming. And of course, there’s more Thai Rivera updates than you could possibly want. We are tired of this little garbage fire, too. …

Watching the Throne – Part 3 of 3

July 14, 2021

In this third installment of Watching the Throne, the complete Thai Rivera residency controversy gets even more spin, with Thai declaring the entire weekend a success on his social media and podcast. We listen as this toy boy spins yarns about how happy the venue was with the turnout, how well the shows went, and how impressed the audience was. Unfortunately for Thai, the audio and video evidence seems to contradict his rose-colored view of the entire residency, as well as his talent. We also get a response from comedian Ralph Tutela, who was intended to be Thai’s partner for the residency, but sobered up before the debut and backed out. Not even newer comics on the Vegas scene want to be a part of the implosion of a gay madman and his career …