NLO Shows

MELTON in the MORNING! (June 1, 2023)

It’s Thursday, and after a full day of not talking, Patrick has a lot to scream about and you people had better listen. Patrick bans James Banks for hitting the same note on the piano over and over for the entire first hour of the show. Beating jokes to death is Patrick’s job. Speaking of that, please pre-order Patrick’s special – link below. He doesn’t want to look like a loser. Ray is not a mean guy but Patrick doesn’t want anything to do with him. Ray can’t stop being anxious during a show. He is overprotective, ignores other people when they talk, and is notoriously opinionated about stuff he doesn’t full comprehend. And he doxxes his friends! Patrick goes through the PO box to find some cool fan creations as well as a lot of things to wipe with. Patrick issues an apology to a chatter who he may have seemed unfair with on Tuesday, and much more!


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Members Only Show – June 2, 2023

Today has been a real one. Why not come and decompress with some good old-fashioned laugh and community. But don’t crosstalk. We saw some of the aftermath of crosstalk today. Crosstalk is bad. So just focus on the show, alright. You’ll all be fine. Just relax and let the weekend wash over you. Patrick goes over the most recent Ray Devito double-down on dumb. Carlos Danger tries to save him from himself once again. Patrick gets drunk and demands people prove they aren’t poor. And we succumb to morbid curiosity and get balls deep in to the drama with phone calls from Ian, Dirty Danish, and some other wackos. This is the greatest show, and we have the greatest fans. Don’t miss this exceptional evening.

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Nobody Likes Onions

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