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NLO 1423: Breaking Brad

It’s been a rough week. Patrick is super broke now, so please send in your offers of tribute. The Tesla was repossessed and Brad has been been through a terrible ordeal while away at training camp. She’s home to tell the tale, and the pictures will sicken you. While doing what he thought was best for his sweet dog, injuries on each and every one of her paws forced her to have to leave for a vet inspection, and the results are awful. People are getting more and more dug-in and stupid. Thai Rivera wants $5000 to perform on a show with Patrick, once again cementing his intense fear of competition and exposure. Patrick would love to do something to benefit a charity, but Thai needs more money for table tops.

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NLO 1422: Unstable Stream

Patrick talks about a recent trip in his new Tesla, and he makes Elon Musk buy it back from him with Dogecoin. Patrick does a show and woman who looks like Nanette talks too much. Butch Bradley can’t stop worrying about me for no reason. Hot brisket talk. Brad is gone, and may never return, so please send in your own dogs to our P.O. Box. Thai Rivera is scared of other comedians simply watching his embarrassing open mic because he can’t gaslight everyone live. But mostly this stream is plagued with connectivity issues and lag, so we try to have a little fun with it the best we know how. He reads mean comments from the chat. Who wants to hear about window glare and utility coating? Thai Rivera argues with Gretchen Boshart over video.

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Patrick Melton // Full-Time Dad

I’m just as pro-choice as the next they, but the number of full-grown adults who do not understand how the law works and are throwing a tantrum in their misguided piss-puddles of ignorance is staggering.