Secret Shows


Did you ever know that you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish I could be. I can fly higher than an eagle. You are the wind beneath my wings. Seriously. You are. Look. I know it’s a song. But for real, and I’ve never told this to anyone before – you are like seriously my best friend. It feels right when we are together, ya know? Thanks for listening.

DRAMA! Stevie Lew, Ian Hawk, Steel Toe Morning Show

There’s a feeling in the air. You know you shouldn’t care. But why worry or despair? Your tires are in need of air. When buying a Snickers, get a size that you can share. Never hold an open flame near your hair. For cardio it’s always better to take a stair. Why get a pony when you can adopt a mare? See you at the Renaissance Faire. You pay the fare, though, ok? Seems fair.

MELTON & DIXON: Saints For Life

Join a duo of Patricks for a special St. Patrick’s Day celebration. You better where green or Santa will pinch you or something. Pull up a bowl of Lucky Charms and put some food coloring in your dad’s beer. It’s time to appreciate everything that Patricks have to offer.

UH-OH in AUSTIN! JOE ROGAN Gets Annoying Gay Comedian THAI RIVERA Blackballed in Austin Comedy!?

EXCLUSIVE! Agent-O has learned that Thai Rivera, the most annoying and narcissistic gay comedian in the world, may have just been blacklisted from all the comedy clubs in Austin for attempting to pick a fight with Joe Rogan over his comedy club The Mothership! Let’s comb over what happened and break down Thai’s options after being run out of Phoenix twice, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles prior to his latest scape to Austin. What’s next of the rapidly aging comedienne?

BONUS SNIPE SHOW – March 11, 2024

Join Patrick in watching Chad’s latest disaster with Mazur where he hopes to one day experiment with drugs and stuff! Then we head over to watch Steel Toe gush about their invites to the wedding of the year! And finally Chad gets bitch slapped around MLC, proving the cycle will always begin anew.

MEMBERS ONLY: The Porsalin MERSH Documentary Watch! You Won’t BELIEVE How Gross He Is!

Turn up your nose and turn down your speakers! Patrick’s here and he’s gonna do something, probably! Let’s dive in to Mersh, or Mike Schiele, and see how he’s become one of the internet’s largest lolcows. Join us on a very long journey to discover what makes Mersh a permanently damaged indicidual, scrounging for monetary opportunity like a rat looking for cheese.


Come join Patrick and an army of animal critters as they take over the underforest and save the Amazon from the likes of Evilcorp! Don’t forget to use code BEEEBADABEEBADABOO at Lake City Quiet Pills for a huge discount!

NOT A SHOW! The Show You’ve Been Waiting For!

Strap on your hats and get ready to spunk your bunk! Patrick is back to rain on your parade. Call your dads, prep your parents and berate the local ethnic! It’s NLO in the night time, and you’ve never looked better than you look right now, you monster!

MEMBERS ONLY: GLUG GLUG! Chad Zumock Is A Walking Red Flag!

Happy Friday night and welcome to a members only stream. There’s lots of members streams out there, but this one is just for making fun of comedian Chad Zumock as he navigates a world that has rejected him. Determined to make people thing he is a still a working comic, and clamoring for relevance with some of the most B-list comics ever, Chad continues his fight for mediocrity and we are here for it!

WE GOT ‘EM! Is A Hunchback RUINING An Old Man’s Life?

Kevin Brennan is grumpy! Join Patrick with your opinions and thoughts! We would LOVE to know what you think. Kevin Brennan is VERY nervous about Atlantic City, and is threatening to not come! Why, KB? What are you so scared of? The logic is falling apart, and the old man is losing focus. Come count my money and bring your kids for a ride down the old curved-spine slide of terror!

Members Only Show – February 2, 2024

Join Patrick as he wades through the latest Heather Gillespie videos. Xavier is now leaking nudes online and Heather might be involved in a cover-up. The baby is due soon and Heather is wishing for a sponsor to give her a fully furnished apartment so they can have a happy life. And you’ll never believe what THEY are doing now. They’re dehydrating them!

RENT FREE! A Musical! Comedian Succubutt & Anal Tart KATE MEANEY Bares All!

Uh oh! Comedian Kevin Meaney and that banger of a daughter Kate Meaney, along with her NBC executive mother, have gotten themselves in to quite a pickle! Watch as Kevin Brennan eats hard candy and swallows more than hard truths as he tries to balance a chat room and dwindling superchats with “sticking it to Melton” by booking bores!