Full Show Archive



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NLO 1333: Currncelled

Patrick is melting in to a reality that he doesn't agree with, and you're gonna hear all about it on this show. There's a lot of yelling, and the show was not recorded correctly so get ready for some low-fidelity profanity and rage. The country is falling apart, we are headed in to another uncertain wave of political molestation of a national tragedy, and Patrick's mental health cannot bear the incongruity any longer

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NLO 1332: Simon Says

Patrick is up in the middle of the night to connect with comedian George Dimarelos in Melbourne, Australia. George gives Patrick the honest truth about what the rest of the world thinks about America during this pandemic. The duo remembers easier times at comedy festivals months ago. Patrick expresses frustration about the coronavirus testing process, and still has no results yet. Kanye is running for president and we aren't sure whether to take it seriously.

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NLO 1331: Swabs and Slobs

It's a tense morning here at the Onions studio, and Patrick is preparing to go for an examination that could change the course of the show forever. This could be the last time you hear from him, as he's on the way to get a COVID-19 test soon, and he's vowed that if he's positive he won't be wasting his last days podcasting. The sentimentality sends Patrick down a podcasting walk to remember.

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NLO 1330: Fireworks & Furloughs

Patrick is drinking for the first time in about a month, and Roy Johnson joins in from Tulsa. It's late on a Friday, it's hot in the desert, and it feels like the world is ending. Sláinte! Patrick doesn't understand why Microsoft ruins anything it touches. People need to stop setting off fireworks for no reason. Patrick pitches his idea for a new quarantine haircut business.

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NLO 1329: Pizza Stoned

Roy Johnson checks in from Tulsa to take us on another Uber Eats adventure, and this time we are having Outback Steakhouse. G'day, dopes! Patrick doesn't really know what to think of anything anymore, much less the latest round of MeToo-ings going around.

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NLO 1328: Are You OK?

Patrick has fallen victim to the worst attack of depression known to man, and only yelling seems to help. Both coronavirus and Black Lives Matter are back for round two at the same time. Alex Ansel checks in to tell us about his gaming channel, how to dodge a scandal, and advice on chairs.

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NLO 1327: Flat Earth Clues

Patrick catches up with his old pal Shooby in this continuation of podcasting remotely. We find out what Shooby has been up to during the coronavirus lockdown in his home of San Fransisco, and reminisce about some of the days gone by. Patrick has been thinking that the pandemic is the perfect opportunity to upgrade…

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NLO 1326: Irish You Were Here

Irish comedian Conor Drum zoom in (if that's a verb) from London to enjoy some drinks and solve some problems. Patrick met Conor through mutual friends last year in Edinburgh, and the two of them have been drunk since. In this show, we of course discuss the coronavirus situation and how it's continuing to cause…

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NLO 1325: Auntie Bodies

The quarantine continues and comedian James Hesky sits in with Patrick from New York City. Patrick announces a partnership with Netflix. James provides some commentary on the situation in NYC, and apparently consistency with social distancing in New York is not a thing. The beaches are open in Georgia, and sports remaining on hiatus are…

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NLO 1324: Getting Silly

Alex Ansel, Adam Dominguez and Chrim Waldorf join Patrick to commiserate about the pandemic and try to find some joy in the world. Patrick is pretty sure he had COVID-19 last week. Chrim Waldorf, aka the Cold Brew King, has been driving Uber and trading stocks recently. According to recent successes, he's the new Gordon…

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NLO 1323: Obama Pox

Patrick has rushed back from Australia to avoid being stranded during the coronavirus pandemic, and there's rust on all the podcast equipment. Roy Johnson calls in from Tulsa to give us the lowdown on life in Oklahoma since the panic began. Patrick can't stand people who are in to sports and can't stop talking about…

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NLO 1322: Comedy Rape Town

Patrick is joined in the studio by comedians Tyler Jolley and George White. George is determined to be on his best behavior this time around, as last time he was bouncing off the studio walls. Patrick trys to dig deep in to the rumors and lore surrounding Las Vegas and it's comedy scene being full…

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NLO 1321: Meet Waldorf

Patrick is joined in the studio by what promises to be the most entertaining crew in a long time. Regulars Alex Ansel and Adam Dominguez bring their roommate, comedian and lothario Chris Waldeck to the party. A bit of a case-study between the everyman, Chris walks us through adventure after adventure, from his sweaty genesis…

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NLO 1320: Free Scott Peterson

Patrick is joined in the studio by comedians Alex Ansel and Garrett Hall. Alex is fresh off a scare with the law, and Patrick is worried that his lack of drinking will have bad ramifications on the show. Patrick pleas for his guests to be treated better, whether you're a hair tie company or the…

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NLO 1319: Butthole Sun

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and Jozalyn Sharp is here to help us make sense of everything. We talk about all of the latest social media sensations hitting the millennial lately, including weird family recipes and how to extend your life and have more energy by sunning your asshole. Patrick doesn't understand TikTok, or why…

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NLO 1318: Crushing Candy

Somewhere in Las Vegas comedians Alex Ansel, Adam Dominguez and Jeni Robins gather around some mics. We are breaking down Halloween and some of the guests are making short work of Patrick's leftover candy. Patrick is turning 40 on Monday. Popeyes chicken sandwiches are back and causing murders. The rapper TI takes his daughter to…

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NLO 1317: Porn Syrup

Tyler Jolley joins Patrick in the studio to race to the bottom of a bottle of scotch. What could go wrong? The summary of things discussed in this show couldn't be listed if you tried. Trader Joes and cookie butter are pretty much a scam, Costco sponsors the show now, and nobody is sure whether mezcal is tequila or vice versa.

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NLO 1316: Organcer

Patrick is back in Las Vegas and is in the process of getting the new podcast studio up and running. Adam Domiguez is here with roommate and NLO-favorite Alex Ansel to talk about the end of summer and a million other stupid things. These boys are passing around Keystone Ice and candy cigarettes likes they're…

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NLO 1314: Post-Breakdown Roy

Back in Tulsa, Patrick catches up with Roy Johnson a couple weeks after a breakup. So much has happened since we last heard from Roy, including his breakdown on another podcast with lovable Tulsa comedian Landry Miller (available on the Overdose for subscribers). Roy and Patrick try to fix the world, just like old times,…

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NLO 1313: Pre-Breakdown Roy

Patrick is in Tulsa, Oklahoma, catching up with his old friend and one of the first co-hosts to capture the hearts of NLO listeners everywhere, Roy Johnson. Roy is happily in a relationship and has mellowed quite a bit in his advanced age. Patrick sits him down to weigh in on his new lifestyle, and…

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NLO 1312: Beatings and Bitings

Patrick is back stateside and resurrects the podcast from Las Vegas, NV. Patrick catches up with Alex Ansel, who reveals some secrets of his recently concluded relationship. Spoiler alert - he has bite marks all over his body and likes it when women make him feel pain. Patrick talk a bit about his final weeks…

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NLO 1311: Senseless Census

Patrick sits down with Ruven Govender and Sean Michaels in Sydney, Australia. In the wake of the shooting in New Zealand, we talk about guns and killing, including the motivations and a machinations behind them, and come to absolutely zero solutions, other than thoughts and prayers. Ruven teaches us what a census is, which apparently…

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NLO 1310: Superman Sucks

Patrick rises from the ashes in Sydney, Australia just to see if anyone is still listening. Comedians Ruven Govender and Sean Michaels are guests on this show of stitched-together conversations that took place on a recent rainy afternoon after the boys baking some drug-filled cake. Patrick and Ruven recount some of the happenings in Perth…

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NLO 1309: Boom Roasted

Patrick is in the studio with a plethora of Texas comedians performing haphazard interventions. Comedians Alex "Kool Aid" Ansel, Adam Dominguez, and George White put on a clinic for how to jump around from topic to topic with grace. George is addicted to social media and we plead with him to put the phone down.…

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NLO 1308: Funeral Cucks

Jozalyn Sharp, comedian and fellow "big picture" thinker joins Patrick in the studio for a show where everyone is too high. Patrick has decided to box up everything and move on to the next apartment, in light of recent and never-ceasing series of unfortunate events. Everything is broken.

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NLO 1307: Besmirching Blanche

Patrick sits down after lunch with foodie, writer and comedian Jason Harris. There's a lot of talk about skateboarding and extreme sports in crossover culture, stemming from some of the behavior of children in Patrick's neighborhood. Patrick is fed up with the riffraff and contemplates moving. We learn that Patrick has too much hair on…

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NLO 1306: Bagel Boys

Patrick is in New York City and sits down with Australian comedian Sam Kissajukian. Sam hasn't been on the show in over a year, and there's lots to catch up on. Sam is spending some time in New York and immersing himself in the comedy scene and the condensed lifestyle that is the big apple.…

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NLO 1305: Pizza Sheets

Patrick is in the studio to ring in his birthday with former roommate Shooby and superfan Steve Curran. The drinks are flowing and the Juul's are charged for this thirty-ninth birthday bash, and Steve even ordered a gigantic pizza to celebrate. Too bad what got delivered was a giant sheet of disappointment to Patrick, which…

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NLO 1304: Real Heroes

Patrick sits down with comedian Erik Woodworth to talk about their trip to the Middle East and Africa earlier this year. This show was recorded a week and a half ago, and then corrupted digitally, but now it's restored in all it's glory. Erik is in town to do a show in Las Vegas for…

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NLO 1303: Wallet Wading

Alex Kool-Aid Ansel joins Patrick today for a Halloween show. We wade back in the NLO memory shoe box and listen to an old holiday favorite. Alex is doing a roast for John Wayne Bobbit, the guy who got his penis cut off by his angry girlfriend and then reattached. Patrick notices how thick Alex's…

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NLO 1302: Chunka Toe

Patrick is back and promising a huge announcement at the end of this show. Fans Paul and Laura from Glasgow, Scotland sit in on this show, and we all start drinking because it's almost midnight. Paul and Laura recently got married at the MGM Grand by a guy who sometimes dress up as Elvis. Patrick…

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NLO 1301: Bow Now

Patrick is back in Las Vegas and sits down with Canadian comedian Brad Bryans. Or Bryans Bradley. Or something. We talk about how more money really does lead to more problems, including broken refrigerators, failing batteries, and and incessantly chirping smoke detector. Brad is flying back to Toronto, but not before Patrick picks his brain…

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NLO 1300: Fix Your Tits, Boise

Patrick is doing shows in Boise, Idaho with James Hesky. James opens up about his recent shitting activity, in a classic podcast overshare. We've had some weird shows so far, including a woman yelling the N-word during a show and an alpha male that did not appreciate having his woman insulted. James has been walking…

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NLO 1299: Albo Iguos

Patrick is in Munich, Germany after a few relaxing weeks of not podcasting to you needy people. He begs your forgiveness and asks that you not hold it against him for taking some time off. Fan Stephen is also sitting in on this show to talk about his recent travels in Italy, where Patrick has…

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NLO 1298: PB and Jeans

Patrick is in NYC drinking with fellow comedian and big-thinker James Hesky. We are clearly drunk and clearly drinking eleven percent alcohol IPA beer. Patrick has a lot of business ideas that probably are complete shit, but you're going to hear about all of them. Patrick has a major problem with the new Jurassic Park…

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NLO 1297: Nanette-flix

Alex Kool Aid Ansel joins Patrick in the studio to talk about the depressing end of comedy. At least that's the story of Netflix's newest darling Nanette, and anti-standup special by Australian comedian Hannah Gadsby. Nanette is not good if you are a white male, and it has the entire mood of the show down.…

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NLO 1296: Flat Fourth

Patrick is in Tulsa hanging out with Roy Johnson for this year's 4th of July happenings. Not much happened on the fourth because we spent the days leading up to it doing a questionable amount of consuming substances. Roy and Patrick talk a little bit about comedy in the heartland of America, as they do…

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NLO 1295: Bourdained

Comedian and food-writer extraordinaire Jason Harris joins Patrick in the studio. Patrick is livid at the children in his apartment complex and a smoke detector that won't stop beeping. Jason shares his opinions on some of the latest sexual scandals, including Chris Hardwick. Jason is a big foodie, and we talk about some of the…

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NLO 1294: Death and Tacos

Comedian Carmen Lynch joins Patrick in the studio in a sweltering hot Las Vegas. Carmen and Patrick have been busy traveling different ends of the world doing comedy. They discuss their experience at a local taco stand, and Patrick is annoyed by people who can't seem to get a grip on their simple jobs. Carmen…

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NLO 1293: Mean Smuggin’

Patrick sits down with Moody in New Zealand to talk about all kinds of stuff. Fan Will also joins, as we dive in to the history of New Zealand and find out why Kiwis seem to have such a disdain for Australia and it's people. Patrick is frustrated that people don't know how to walk…

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NLO 1292: Garage Talk in Sydney

Patrick is surrounded by comedians in Sydney, Australia for this show. Comedians Ben Darsow, Justin Jones, Gavin Scott, Sam Menzies, and the always-sweet Josh Cohen join the show to see if we can try to formulate thoughts while Kyle Legacy is screaming incoherent gibberish in the background. Kyle eventually fucks off after plugging his show…

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NLO 1291: LeBron Down Under

Patrick is joined in Sydney by comedians Justin Jones, Gavin Scott, and Kyle Legacy. Everyone is still interested in hooking up with Kyle's cousin Amber, even if we just say it to drive him a little nuts. We suspect Kyle has difficulty with words on paper and make him read a passage from Peter Pan,…

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NLO 1290: Doggy Dick Sucking

Patrick is riding back from the Nimbin MardiGrass festival in Australia with a carload of comics. Justin Jones, Lachlan Brooks and Kyle Legacy join in this show during our nine hour trek from Nimbin back to Sydney, recapping highlights of the weed festival weekend. There's lots of stories, including a man who pissed himself and…

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NLO 1289: Newcastle Nights

Patrick is joined by a group of comedians from Newcastle, Australia. The group just finished doing an open mic comedy show in a pub where the patrons were more concerned with eating two dollars tacos than watching the show that was on in front of them. Possibly rightly so. Andrew Milos from the Big Dog…

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NLO 1288: Taunting Titans

Patrick is packed in the studio with comedians Tyler Jolley and Jozalyn Sharp, as well as their sidekick Greg Price. Patrick thinks he might have ball cancer but doesn't know what he's talking about. Everyone tries to help Patrick brainstorm ideas for pranking a girls softball team because he's on the mailing list somehow and…

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NLO 1287: Shifty Iffty

The hilarious Eddie Ifft joins Patrick in the studio to talk about a lot of stuff. Patrick is intrigued by some recent events involving old show guest Graham Elwood getting in a spat with Eddie. You may remember Graham from his Palm Strike Dance Party video. We talk about how to navigate comedy and social…

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NLO 1286: Starch Sadness 2018

Join Patrick and Alex Ansel for the fast food argument to end all arguments. We've broken down our favorites, as well as many items suggested by listeners, in to brackets for your judgment. We've got milkshakes and French fries. We've got sandwiches and burritos. We've got breakfast, lunch and fourth meal. Which item will take…

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NLO 1285: We Don’t Want Nothing

Alex Ansel joins Patrick again in the studio. Alex and Patrick have developed a food championship bracket-style competition called Starch Sadness. Most of this episode revolves around a revisit of the popular internet mascot Cool Cat and some videos recently uploaded by his creator, Daddy Derek. Not only is Cool Cat not so in to…

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NLO 1284: Squeezed

Patrick is joined in the studio once again by Alex "Kool Aid" Ansel. Alex has a new show that he has started on the Las Vegas strip at Treasure Island themed around being healthy and losing weight. We find out everything about the show, including the wardrobe and dancers. Yes, dancers. It's Vegas, so there's…

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NLO 1283: Groins and Guns

Comedians Will C and Erik Knowles join Patrick in the studio. Will C was a guest on the show back in 2010 and introduced Patrick to Josh Denny. Will and Erik are a part of a group of comics known as The Veterans of Comedy that travel around performing for veterans as well as military…