Full Show Archive



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NLO 1356: For Heaven’s Sake

Patrick is excited about the possibility of pivoting to a gamers only podcast. We are proud to announce that we are the only podcast with GeForce RTX graphics. That can't be, can it? People need to stop worrying about Patrick being poor. It's all going to work out. We check in on some of the latest insane rants and exclamations from our favorite tinyman, Thai Rivera. Trez Mala watches grass grow. Daddy Derek is nuttier than ever and we have the videos to prove it.

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NLO 1354: It’s Electric!

Patrick has been busy but that's not going to stop him from bitching about everything under the sun. SUBtember is here at Twitch so that seems very to tell people about continuously. We reveal that we have a very capable doxxer in our midst. Patrick has lost everything in the stock market and wants your sympathy. We look in to other electric car manufacturers besides Tesla.

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NLO 1353: Malaween

Patrick is back as promised to continue trying to explore other options in the Onionsphere. Patrick has used three cans of hairspray to both illustrate how long it's been since he's had any kind of professional grooming, and to make fun of how Trez Mala composes his "look" on the daily. Patrick begins to try to fix some of the audio sync issues, but this turns out to be a fatal downfall in this show.

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NLO 1352: Gone In 267 Milliseconds

This show is an attempt to make everyone happy. We are taking a break from the latest trend of T2 tirades. So much in this show! Patrick talks too much about graphics cards. The final solution for low-carb pizza cravings is revealed. We teach an old fan some new tricks. Patrick tries to give people investment advice, but he has no idea what he's talking about. Plus listener supplied topics!

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NLO 1351: SpYdaKiLLaH

Patrick continues going over the latest and greatest video podcast from Thai Rivera, Brough to us by the guys he has fooled down at Virtual Vegas studios. While exploring Thai's sick burns and further social policies, we begin to notice even more contradictions in his personalities. We begin to notice a lot of very oddly-timed cuts in the video and try to find out why.

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NLO 1350: What’s the Bit?

Patrick is taking it upon himself to make this episode be the one that really humanizes himself to you all. Before moving on to everything he thinks is wrong with everyone else, he wants to reveal something very personal and embarrassing, This confession leads to a startling observation by the chat. Patrick discusses Elon Musk's brain fuckery company, Neuralink.

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NLO 1349: F.E.A.R.

Patrick is spiraling hard and there is no telling where this show is headed from right out of the gate. The entire weekend was filled with updates for the studio, including cabling, graphics cards, memory, accessories, lighting, etc. We explore a t-shirt company run by the right-wing nut butter known as Trez Mala, full off designs and slogans that will make your trachea ache. Patrick is sick and tired of being sick and tired

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NLO 1348: Thai Polar

It's a new dawn and that means a bunch of new things that will probably just make us a combination of depressed and anxious, with a side of outrage. Patrick is going off on ANOTHER Las Vegas comedian that popped up in his feed on Facebook this morning. This time it's a grown man with some ideas about the government tracking us with our phones. We also go over some older videos from Thai Rivera, since he's been laying kind of low this week.

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NLO 1346: Bad3

The gay giving tree that is Thai Rivera has birthed us a new comedian jester to keep our eyes on, Trez Mala. Patrick took years of Spanish in high school. so he's pretty sure that means "bad three." Or something close. In the first installment of two, we listen to Trez talk about himself and his comedy roots and philosophy on some other gas weasel's podcast. If you've never heard of the MoonBug Glip Glop podcast, strap in

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NLO 1345: Thai Fighter

It's a new day and a new podcast from our favorite tiny Mexican comedian impersonator, Thai Rivera, has just hit the sound clouds. We kick off the show with technical difficulties as usual. Patrick has a new iMac and couldn't be more elated. Thai is back with some big proclamations and announcements. But mostly it just has contradiction after contradiction, rambling story after incoherent babbling, and a lot of weird mouth noises.

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NLO 1344: Thai-fecta!

Patrick continues Thai-rlessly going over the minutia of an insane narcissist while he tells some amazing tales. We have all the hot thai'kes you can handle, and plenty of puns to boot. Thai tells an amazing story about his shitty car needing an air conditioner repair in the middle of the desert summer. We further diagnose Thai Rivera's inability to tell a story with any effectiveness. Not that we mind, as it leads to some hilarious insights about how Thai sees himself and other people.

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NLO 1343: Vibes and Tribes

We are continuing with HOUR 3 of the breakdown of Thai Rivera's latest podcast, and it's slow going because there's a lot to dissect. Thai begins his podcast by thanking people for feedback, and you can tell he has taken a lot of our advice to heart. At least for awhile. His energy fades quickly as he becomes distracted by his own difficult-to-follow stories and ramblings about a dog that he is keeping captive for some reason. Thai can't really form sentences or complex thoughts well when he has to speak.

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NLO 1342: Tale as Old as Thai

Apple has finally announced new iMacs and Patrick couldn't press order fast enough, despite bezels. Patrick is furious that he has to broadcast on both Facebook and Twitch today because of hackers and stuff. The show opens with another tale of Facebook drama, this time involving another comedian in Las Vegas. We find a bizarre link between an old frequent guest of the show and Thai Rivera. Patrick chastises Vegas comics for respecting or mischaracterizing Thai.

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NLO 1341: Unmasked

Patrick is frustrated because he's struggled to get the stream live again after an onslaught of attacks. Someone out there is really upset about the live stream and wants it shut down. Patrick starts drinking and we all know how that usually goes. Patrick gets a little bit in to his current state of mind while the world being on the precipice of disaster. Facebook, Google, Amazon and Apple are defending each other. People are really enjoying the Thai Rivera stuff.

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NLO 1340: Thai, Thai AGAIN!

The well of inadequacy that is Thai Rivera seems to have no bottom, and Patrick seems to be fine with that fact. After a trip to Costco, Patrick returns to chat about Thai's latest exploits, and we break down a comedy video he posted from a local cantina. While we are mainly focused on Thai for this show, we do feel carefree enough to venture down some alternative courses of cognitive foreplay, like Costco pizzas.

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NLO 1339: Thai Buffet

When will the onslaught of Thai content cease? I don't see an end to it any time soon, as long as he keeps cranking out gay gold. Patrick is back after a problem being DDOS attacked the day before and not being able to stream. Some people do not want the hard truths exposed. Patrick explains why having a mental breakdown is good, and probably normal. Patrick wants to see your Screen Time, Las Vegas comedy #SECRETS and more.

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NLO 1338: Lessons From Lane

This show should have been so much longer, but the alt-right libtards and their vicious team of tea party Q-Anon antifa activists have prevented it. On this show we talk about an old-school fan named Lane, and how he thinks Patrick is a cuck for being scared of a virus. Patrick tries to not seems crazy, but things play out a little differently. We review some videos of the public losing their mind, and try to explore any deeper meaning.

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NLO 1337: UNBOTHERED!

This Thai Rivera thing was supposed to be over, but Patrick just can't help himself when it comes to trying to unravel the distorted mental map of a mad man. Dual scourge of the gay and comedy communities, Thai Rivera, does a podcast named after a more famous podcast. Patrick stumbles in the studio and fires up the stream to listen live, and it turns in to a THREE HOUR deconstruction of a broken man who contradicts himself more and more every minute.

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NLO 1336: Pool Aid

Patrick fires up the stream to hang with Alex Ansel and discuss all the recent goings on in the United States of Terror. Patrick is seriously contemplating moving when his lease is up, and possibly pulling the trigger on buying a new house. He'd like to get a pool, including a pool house and Kool Aid wants to move in and be the show intern. Patrick wants to be a professional troll, and he's got some ideas.

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NLO 1335: Pizza-Off 2020

Roy Johnson connects from Tulsa to try to pretend that the world isn't meaningless once again. But this time it should be easier, because we've got pizza. Lots and lots of pizza. Before diving in to the pies, Roy and Patrick touch briefly on the days developments regarding comedy drama magnet, Thai Rivera. Patrick is in a sharp mood, but Roy thinks he's mellowed from weeks past.

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NLO 1334: Cryptic Shade

This show is a brave message to those out there who have to deal with bullying on an everyday basis. Patrick woke up to find himself being told of a lack of approval about a Facebook post he'd made the day before. Las Vegas comedian, or is it comic, Thai Rivera spins out in manic glory over a silly post, resulting in a chain of hilarity and weird pointless hating that can only be classified as virtue signaling horseshit.

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NLO 1333: Currncelled

Patrick is melting in to a reality that he doesn't agree with, and you're gonna hear all about it on this show. There's a lot of yelling, and the show was not recorded correctly so get ready for some low-fidelity profanity and rage. The country is falling apart, we are headed in to another uncertain wave of political molestation of a national tragedy, and Patrick's mental health cannot bear the incongruity any longer

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NLO 1332: Simon Says

Patrick is up in the middle of the night to connect with comedian George Dimarelos in Melbourne, Australia. George gives Patrick the honest truth about what the rest of the world thinks about America during this pandemic. The duo remembers easier times at comedy festivals months ago. Patrick expresses frustration about the coronavirus testing process, and still has no results yet. Kanye is running for president and we aren't sure whether to take it seriously.

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NLO 1331: Swabs and Slobs

It's a tense morning here at the Onions studio, and Patrick is preparing to go for an examination that could change the course of the show forever. This could be the last time you hear from him, as he's on the way to get a COVID-19 test soon, and he's vowed that if he's positive he won't be wasting his last days podcasting. The sentimentality sends Patrick down a podcasting walk to remember.

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NLO 1330: Fireworks & Furloughs

Patrick is drinking for the first time in about a month, and Roy Johnson joins in from Tulsa. It's late on a Friday, it's hot in the desert, and it feels like the world is ending. Sláinte! Patrick doesn't understand why Microsoft ruins anything it touches. People need to stop setting off fireworks for no reason. Patrick pitches his idea for a new quarantine haircut business.

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NLO 1329: Pizza Stoned

Roy Johnson checks in from Tulsa to take us on another Uber Eats adventure, and this time we are having Outback Steakhouse. G'day, dopes! Patrick doesn't really know what to think of anything anymore, much less the latest round of MeToo-ings going around.

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NLO 1328: Are You OK?

Patrick has fallen victim to the worst attack of depression known to man, and only yelling seems to help. Both coronavirus and Black Lives Matter are back for round two at the same time. Alex Ansel checks in to tell us about his gaming channel, how to dodge a scandal, and advice on chairs.

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NLO 1327: Flat Earth Clues

Patrick catches up with his old pal Shooby in this continuation of podcasting remotely. We find out what Shooby has been up to during the coronavirus lockdown in his home of San Fransisco, and reminisce about some of the days gone by. Patrick has been thinking that the pandemic is the perfect opportunity to upgrade…

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NLO 1326: Irish You Were Here

Irish comedian Conor Drum zoom in (if that's a verb) from London to enjoy some drinks and solve some problems. Patrick met Conor through mutual friends last year in Edinburgh, and the two of them have been drunk since. In this show, we of course discuss the coronavirus situation and how it's continuing to cause…

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NLO 1325: Auntie Bodies

The quarantine continues and comedian James Hesky sits in with Patrick from New York City. Patrick announces a partnership with Netflix. James provides some commentary on the situation in NYC, and apparently consistency with social distancing in New York is not a thing. The beaches are open in Georgia, and sports remaining on hiatus are…

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NLO 1324: Getting Silly

Alex Ansel, Adam Dominguez and Chrim Waldorf join Patrick to commiserate about the pandemic and try to find some joy in the world. Patrick is pretty sure he had COVID-19 last week. Chrim Waldorf, aka the Cold Brew King, has been driving Uber and trading stocks recently. According to recent successes, he's the new Gordon…

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NLO 1323: Obama Pox

Patrick has rushed back from Australia to avoid being stranded during the coronavirus pandemic, and there's rust on all the podcast equipment. Roy Johnson calls in from Tulsa to give us the lowdown on life in Oklahoma since the panic began. Patrick can't stand people who are in to sports and can't stop talking about…

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NLO 1322: Comedy Rape Town

Patrick is joined in the studio by comedians Tyler Jolley and George White. George is determined to be on his best behavior this time around, as last time he was bouncing off the studio walls. Patrick trys to dig deep in to the rumors and lore surrounding Las Vegas and it's comedy scene being full…

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NLO 1321: Meet Waldorf

Patrick is joined in the studio by what promises to be the most entertaining crew in a long time. Regulars Alex Ansel and Adam Dominguez bring their roommate, comedian and lothario Chris Waldeck to the party. A bit of a case-study between the everyman, Chris walks us through adventure after adventure, from his sweaty genesis…

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NLO 1320: Free Scott Peterson

Patrick is joined in the studio by comedians Alex Ansel and Garrett Hall. Alex is fresh off a scare with the law, and Patrick is worried that his lack of drinking will have bad ramifications on the show. Patrick pleas for his guests to be treated better, whether you're a hair tie company or the…

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NLO 1319: Butthole Sun

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and Jozalyn Sharp is here to help us make sense of everything. We talk about all of the latest social media sensations hitting the millennial lately, including weird family recipes and how to extend your life and have more energy by sunning your asshole. Patrick doesn't understand TikTok, or why…

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NLO 1318: Crushing Candy

Somewhere in Las Vegas comedians Alex Ansel, Adam Dominguez and Jeni Robins gather around some mics. We are breaking down Halloween and some of the guests are making short work of Patrick's leftover candy. Patrick is turning 40 on Monday. Popeyes chicken sandwiches are back and causing murders. The rapper TI takes his daughter to…

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NLO 1317: Porn Syrup

Tyler Jolley joins Patrick in the studio to race to the bottom of a bottle of scotch. What could go wrong? The summary of things discussed in this show couldn't be listed if you tried. Trader Joes and cookie butter are pretty much a scam, Costco sponsors the show now, and nobody is sure whether mezcal is tequila or vice versa.

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NLO 1316: Organcer

Patrick is back in Las Vegas and is in the process of getting the new podcast studio up and running. Adam Domiguez is here with roommate and NLO-favorite Alex Ansel to talk about the end of summer and a million other stupid things. These boys are passing around Keystone Ice and candy cigarettes likes they're…

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NLO 1314: Post-Breakdown Roy

Back in Tulsa, Patrick catches up with Roy Johnson a couple weeks after a breakup. So much has happened since we last heard from Roy, including his breakdown on another podcast with lovable Tulsa comedian Landry Miller (available on the Overdose for subscribers). Roy and Patrick try to fix the world, just like old times,…

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NLO 1313: Pre-Breakdown Roy

Patrick is in Tulsa, Oklahoma, catching up with his old friend and one of the first co-hosts to capture the hearts of NLO listeners everywhere, Roy Johnson. Roy is happily in a relationship and has mellowed quite a bit in his advanced age. Patrick sits him down to weigh in on his new lifestyle, and…

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NLO 1312: Beatings and Bitings

Patrick is back stateside and resurrects the podcast from Las Vegas, NV. Patrick catches up with Alex Ansel, who reveals some secrets of his recently concluded relationship. Spoiler alert - he has bite marks all over his body and likes it when women make him feel pain. Patrick talk a bit about his final weeks…

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NLO 1311: Senseless Census

Patrick sits down with Ruven Govender and Sean Michaels in Sydney, Australia. In the wake of the shooting in New Zealand, we talk about guns and killing, including the motivations and a machinations behind them, and come to absolutely zero solutions, other than thoughts and prayers. Ruven teaches us what a census is, which apparently…

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NLO 1310: Superman Sucks

Patrick rises from the ashes in Sydney, Australia just to see if anyone is still listening. Comedians Ruven Govender and Sean Michaels are guests on this show of stitched-together conversations that took place on a recent rainy afternoon after the boys baking some drug-filled cake. Patrick and Ruven recount some of the happenings in Perth…

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NLO 1309: Boom Roasted

Patrick is in the studio with a plethora of Texas comedians performing haphazard interventions. Comedians Alex "Kool Aid" Ansel, Adam Dominguez, and George White put on a clinic for how to jump around from topic to topic with grace. George is addicted to social media and we plead with him to put the phone down.…

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NLO 1308: Funeral Cucks

Jozalyn Sharp, comedian and fellow "big picture" thinker joins Patrick in the studio for a show where everyone is too high. Patrick has decided to box up everything and move on to the next apartment, in light of recent and never-ceasing series of unfortunate events. Everything is broken.

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NLO 1307: Besmirching Blanche

Patrick sits down after lunch with foodie, writer and comedian Jason Harris. There's a lot of talk about skateboarding and extreme sports in crossover culture, stemming from some of the behavior of children in Patrick's neighborhood. Patrick is fed up with the riffraff and contemplates moving. We learn that Patrick has too much hair on…

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NLO 1306: Bagel Boys

Patrick is in New York City and sits down with Australian comedian Sam Kissajukian. Sam hasn't been on the show in over a year, and there's lots to catch up on. Sam is spending some time in New York and immersing himself in the comedy scene and the condensed lifestyle that is the big apple.…

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NLO 1305: Pizza Sheets

Patrick is in the studio to ring in his birthday with former roommate Shooby and superfan Steve Curran. The drinks are flowing and the Juul's are charged for this thirty-ninth birthday bash, and Steve even ordered a gigantic pizza to celebrate. Too bad what got delivered was a giant sheet of disappointment to Patrick, which…

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NLO 1304: Real Heroes

Patrick sits down with comedian Erik Woodworth to talk about their trip to the Middle East and Africa earlier this year. This show was recorded a week and a half ago, and then corrupted digitally, but now it's restored in all it's glory. Erik is in town to do a show in Las Vegas for…