Show Archive • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1394: Gossip Brunch

July 20, 2021

Patrick sits down on a Sunday to have a little hang with you, the loyal listener. Patrick gabs with the chat a bit, as there’s quite a bit going on that’s grinding his gears. Patrick is sipping on Starbucks coffee, which he had delivered. He’s aware that this is the epitome of white girl privilege, but that’s how he rolls. Brad is sick, and has cost a fortune in emergency vet bills. Her digestion isn’t running smoothly, and Patrick is worried about his white tiles and grout standing up to doggie brownie batter. Patrick is thinking about possibly attacking his swim spa salesman, who has misled and pressured him with sleazy sales tactics and is now saying it will be 9 more months before Patrick will be swimming. And of course, there’s more Thai Rivera updates than you could possibly want. We are tired of this little garbage fire, too. …

NLO 1393: Fat Pat NLO Sucks

July 14, 2021

Alex Ansel joins Patrick in the studio to talk about everything from gaming to feuds in the Las Vegas comedy community. The show starts out with a real downer note. Patrick wants to be transparent with the feedback he receives about the show, and in that spirit he reads a very mean-spirited email he received recently. It’s a real wakeup call for the host. Alex brought his Playstation 5 over to enjoy some gaming activities on Patrick’s new massive TV. Patrick still doesn’t understand gaming, but he likes to watch and study people who do. Patrick sings songs to his dog in baby talk to the tune of the theme song from The Little Prince. We get in to the recent drama regarding Thai Rivera attempting to copyright strike our YouTube channel and explain why he doesn’t have a prayer in court. …

Watching the Throne (Part 1 of 3)

July 14, 2021

A comedic review of the latest KING of comedy in Las Vegas. This one is a great tale from the C, and so many people helped provide insight in to the story being woven for your absolute amusement and horror. Bring your popcorn and something sharp to slisp your wrisps. This one will be a long one, so get a babysitter and tell the wife you’ll be out late with the misses. What? Pssssh. You don’t make any sense. In Part 1 we review the lead up to this guaranteed nightmare, and watch in horror as it unfolds before our very eyes for a detailed and thorough breakdown of a man’s breakdown. Enjoy! This show was originally live streamed on June 17, 2021. …

NLO 1392: No More Mr. Nice Thai

July 2, 2021

Thai Rivera issues a copyright strike on Nobody Likes Onions, and Patrick has been itching to share the latest regarding Thai’s super-unbothered attempt to crush free speech. Patrick outlines his planned response to Thai, in as much detail as he’s permitted. This copyright contest can get very ugly very quickly, and Patrick doesn’t plan to play softball with one of Vegas’s most notorious softbois. With legal troubles brewing that could have far-reaching unintended consequences in Thai’s world, and Patrick showing no signs of backing off, what will become of Thai’s new residency? The chat seems to be collectively smacking their heads at Thai’s latest move, and Patrick is asked to give Thai some serious advice as an objective onlooker. …

NLO 1391: Going Down In Smoke

June 21, 2021

Thai Rivera is smoking or snorting more of whatever he smokes or snorts than usual. In this show, Patrick details this insane man’s plan to take Las Vegas by storm with a residency show that promises to be a complete clusterfuck. Void of planning, talent, capabilities, contacts, technical prowess, marketing money or common sense, Thai is forging forward at the expense of a newer local comic named Ralph Tutela. Patrick predicts how this debacle will play out. We then move on to cover Derek Savage’s 2021 edition of the 420 Awards, with less production value and a sadder presence than ever before. Aside from the usual pointless fumbling through handing out awards to people that are not present, this year Derek has convinced some local Vegas comedians to come in and do some of the presenting. …

NLO 1390: Pawn Protocol

June 9, 2021

Chef is back to check on the show he helped grow so many years ago, and his curmudgeonly attitude is still oozing from his pores. Patrick and Chef walk down podcast memory lane a little, and discuss why Patrick is still doing this. Chef is in the babyproofing business and Patrick wants some tips for his dog. Patrick is still losing at poker all these years later. Chef’s Florida neighbor is squirreling away money from his wife. Patrick is confused by whatever bone induction headphones are and why they need to be worn all day. The guys muse about the convenience of having a podcast stenographer. Patrick shares with Chef the origins of Rick’s and how Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars has let his fame go to his head. Patrick argues with Chef about the true meaning of being a father, and Chef shares a new service he’s been using. …

NLO 1389: Comedy Whistleblowers (Part 1)

May 26, 2021

Patrick is back to go over some of the stories he meant to cover in the previous show. Crazy Joe derailed the programming a bit, so today you get leftovers. Patrick is happy to be out in society without a mask, but is super sus about the way we were all told about it. Rachel Maddow is having some issue processing things. Sarah Silverman can’t seem to understand that, in general, men are stronger than women. Patrick breaks down the recent events involving the “cancelling” of Tony Hinchcliffe by a virtue signaling opportunity-seeking nobody comic in Austin. AirBNB is trying to get you to think they are cool by setting up overnight stays in Popeyes chicken restaurants and the last Blockbuster video store in Bend, Oregon. …

NLO 1388: Pawtistic

May 18, 2021

Patrick has serious concerns about the dog he has allowed in to his home and heart. How do you know when it’s time to give up and just put it outside in the dirt? Seriously? This show starts out normal enough, but evolves in to what is sure to be a landmark moment for the Nobody Likes Onions program. After six years of nothing but harassment and hope from those who follow our history with Crazy Joe, the man himself calls in to the show to talk with Patrick and bury the hatchet! Joe want to possibly broadcast his show on the Onions network, but he’s hesitant to trust the fans if they’re all like that idiot, Curran. There’s big news regarding our personal freedoms and it’s way too confusing to be an accident. Patrick ponders the trouble with Bill and Melina Grates and thinks there might be a BIG scandal coming soon! …

NLO 1387: Crypto Crybabies

May 10, 2021

Comedian Scott Bowser is in studio for the first time in almost seven years. While he’s taken a break from standup for awhile, he has found a new love for podcasting. Patrick laments at how easy it is for people to startup a podcast with no conviction. Private messaging app Signal has pissed off Facebook by exposing how much personal information they know about people. The guys discuss the old days, including the early days of cryptocurrency, leaving Los Angeles, and more. Patrick questions Scott about his new profession in the cannibis industry. Patrick doesn’t buy in to experts, labs and testing; it’s all made up nonsense. Scott peruses some baseball cards that Patrick recently acquired to tell him if they might be worth something. Patrick comes up with a new idea for a Vegas-style baby go bye-bye clinic. …