Show Archive • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1459: No Bribes Please

March 9, 2023

Patrick tries to report on the normal topics and operations as the battle between Steel Toe Morning Show and comedian Chad Zumock begin to heat up. Moody has whipped up some new AI voice tools for the chat, but they work about as well as everything else around here. Jimmy Kimmel’s comedy club here in Vegas admits to booking just anyone and not vetting the people on it’s stage whatsoever. Edwin San Juan, local headliner and shy man, begins to slowly break free of his shackles of silence and correct the wrongs he sees in the Las Vegas comedy scene. Kitty Pineapple is bad for Filipino comedians. Komedian Wayne seems like a giant dope. A brief history of Laugh After Dark versus Notoriety Live. …

NLO 1458: Colonel Slanders

February 17, 2023

Patrick must have gotten a good night’s sleep, because he’s downright cherubic at the outset of this show, complimenting the good nature of people like Big Irish Jay for good deeds gone unnoticed. It makes Jay uncomfortable, but isn’t balance important? Patrick also shines some light on Johnny Brim and AJ Rivera who seem to be running a great show on Friday nights here in Las Vegas. Josh Denny can’t interact with his own chat during live shows. The World Series of Comedy is gearing back up and LA Comedy Club can’t jump fast enough to be a part of this low-tier comedian grift-fest. They’ve dragged their new venue at The OYO casino in to it, where Laugh After Dark will be slumming it for their new residency starting this weekend. …

NLO 1457: Females Ain’t Funny

February 16, 2023

Patrick is back with a satirical show that’s sure to sooth your succulents. If you aren’t a cactus person, you’ll probably still enjoy it. Patrick has ideas for how to really make Valentine’s Day pop by changing things up the day before. He’s had about enough of women thinking they’re equal or funny and he’s going to recalibrate their tiny brains in this episode. Patrick makes an earnest plea for support of the program after crapping all over half the audience. We get a live report from a show where apparently some comedy thievery is afoot. The truth about Jozalyn Sharp finally comes out, just days before her album. Comedians from far corners of nowhere are taking out insane ads on Facebook. …

NLO 1456: Killing The Beef

February 13, 2023

The producers of Laugh After Dark along with host Charlie Wilson have graciously offered to assist Patrick in making Butch Bradley look like a complete out-of-it dope for all the internet to see! The Laugh After Dark producers are starting a podcast segment called Kill The Beef, where they are inviting comedians with issues in the community to come in and work them out. Patrick jumped at this chance to call Butch Bradley out on the mat to crush this situation. Edwin San Juan pops in the chat to explain his lack of trust of Butch, and also reiterated that if Patrick was making false claims about him, he would definitely come to the table to work it out. …

NLO 1455: DILLIGAF

February 8, 2023

Patrick may have misdirected some of his ire. Tonight we examine the world of Jack Spear, aka Dillion Dilligaf, aka Tim Chizmar’s hero. Dilligaf is the creator and one of the major causes of failure of The Blue Zone Comedy Tour, amongst other awful projects. He’s also starring in a movie about a violent and murderous disable military vet with severe problems negotiating the world. Dilligaf and Chizmar are advertising their Blue Zone Comedy show as the kickoff to a tour with the BEST comedians in the WORLD, and so much more. None of it is true, and these two dorks are super upset that Patrick spoke up. You won’t believe how deep the rabbit hole goes! …

NLO 1454: Kitty Can’t Cope

February 6, 2023

Despite Patrick ignoring Kitty’s repeated DMs, and not even mentioning her in almost two weeks, he can’t help himself by posting continual content desperately trying to convince everyone that he’s ok and not bothered at all by the recent revelations of his truth. Sound familiar? Wait until you see what Kitty David Kawika reveals in this show! It’s abuse on a whole new level! The depresh is real and you need to knock it off. Patrick smoked a turkey like a king. Thai Rivera is posting some insane new stuff as well. The Las Vegas comedy scene has more delusions leaking from every squirrelly bar hosting a comedy night. Adam Dominguez promises you quality merch, and that’s how Patrick instantly knew it wasn’t. The Wayans brothers have a new scam …

NLO 1453: Headliners & Hoodwinks

January 25, 2023

The Las Vegas comedy scene is unique. Whether it’s the tendency of shows to be shorter, allowing comedians with less material to “move up” before they’re ready, or the mystique of being on stages meters away from icons and superstars, there is a level of delusion and flippant disrespect for both the art form and the process by which one becomes great. Patrick recently attended a night of programming at Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Club programmed by Adam Dominguez that was not only insanely disappointing, but indicative of several larger issues in this city. Every comedian who does fifteen minutes in a strip mall bar in Las Vegas thinks they are a headliner and have a fan base. Ever confused dummy with a day job is convinced they’re a viral video superstar …

NLO 1452: Black Guilt

January 25, 2023

Kitty Pineapple can’t stop messaging Patrick and she really needs to decide if she’ sorry or tough. Casper and David “Holy Shhh” Hulett are struggling with their open mic, and instead of money you can now win noodles for the best set. Summer Sinclair thinks she can sing and needs to be dragged behind a car immediately. Comedians think goin viral is a credit but their social media accounts can never back it up. The Comedy Store experiences more drama as Patrick gets word of a physical fight between Sam Tripoli and girl band Machine Gun Kelly. Stupid people love to talk with their fists. The Golden Globes trot out their new host Jerrod Carmichael and it goes bad very fast. Watch a talented comic have a mental breakdown about race and being a victim. …

NLO 1451: 9th Island Naive

January 18, 2023

Patrick has received a threat from Kitty Pineapple and it is not good. Could Patrick be on the verge of being cancelled? You decide! Nah but seriously, David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple aka Island 9 Fit Guy tried to blackmail Patrick, and it did not work in the most spectacular way. Why do Kitty Pineapple’s threats carry no weight? Why can’t she seem to focus on what she is actually upset about? Has this mediocre nobody confused herself so badly with someone who is successful that she thinks she has the power to “ruin” other comics? The delusion is strong with this one. We wish Penny Prince a happy birthday and try to focus on some of the positives of the Las Vegas comedy community. Lex Las Vegas is mad about something, but he’s so emotional and broken we can’t really tell what. …