Show Archive • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1368: Hubblicious

November 23, 2020

Patrick is sick once again and is paranoid about the coronavirus again. The studio is about to be wrecked as Patrick’s landlord finally agreed to install some auxiliary air conditioners. He’s also waiting for the last hurdle of his home-buying adventure by trying to get some documents from the Homeowner’s Association. All the old cables and equipment must go! We’re going to be all powered by Unifi now. Patrick has a real beef with Hubble contact lenses. …

NLO 1367: The Big 41

November 22, 2020

It’s Patrick’s birthday, and although he appreciates the love and gifts from those who have gathered. Enough is enough. Some people don’t understand what gifts are good, and what gifts are chores. Amazon gift cards or cash, please. None of this other feel-good horseshit. Patrick ordered a new iPhone 12 Pro that should be delivered today, but UPS is fucking it up royally. …

NLO 1366: Warbly Porker

November 20, 2020

Patrick is balls deep in the house buying process, and the stress is beginning to take it’s toll. He’s intimidated by the prospect of taking on the project of installing a pool in his back yard, and he feels pressured by Big Pool. Costco has a lot to answer for when it comes to how he was treated recently at the optical center. Along with being ignored at the service counter, he’s sick of being stalked like a D-level celebrity by cashiers. …

Election Night 2020 Pt. 1: Cis is Sus

November 13, 2020

Patrick straps in for a long day and night of uncertainty and civil unrest. Armed only with weed and a limited knowledge of how the election process works on the whole, and joined by a band of savagely uninformed voters, Patrick tries to make the most of the situation at hand with a retrospective, predictions and more. …

NLO 1362: Know What I Meme

November 9, 2020

Welcome to morning hot talk with the bow boys. Patrick welcomes you to Gum Club and talks about how all the gum comes from like two companies, collectively known as Big Gum. Gum Club is sponsored by Brandie’s Bows and Cheryl’s Barrels. These shows were recorded before the election, so the amount of foreplay in the air between two old men is salty and thick. Jack in the Box is gross, bows and so much more more. …

NLO 1361: A Pools Errand

November 5, 2020

Patrick is kicking off his day with coffee and an apology to Breonna Taylor. Patrick’s latest foray in to trying to buy a house has failed again due to a poor inspection that revealed a million problems. He quickly recovers though, by making another offer on a new house, but not without it’s compromises. He’s decided to go full basic bitch, purchases a magazine-like home stamped out in a planned community. …

NLO 1360: Cooking Without Gas

October 25, 2020

Patrick is back from doing shows on the road and is back to hunting for a house. It’s not been going well, but he has an offer in on a new place that is pretty sweet, but it’s missing that sweet natural gas he craves. Patrick is traumatized by the left and baffled by the right, and he doesn’t even know what’s real anymore. He is officially undecided for the upcoming presidential election, and the media spin isn’t making it any easier. …

NLO 1359: Little Rock Landry

October 13, 2020

Patrick sits down with everyones favorite wannabe city councilperson, comedian, and grumpy geriatric Landry Miller. Landry was good enough to put aside his general disdain for people long enough to sit down with Patrick to talk about doing comedy in pandemic times, this recent alcoholism. We also talk about adult babies, free donuts, camp stories, pandemic comedy and the ugliest care ever. …

NLO 1357: The Money Pit

September 29, 2020

Patrick is joined by Roy Johnson in an on-location show from Tulsa, Oklahoma after finishing a week of shows. Patrick hasn’t been on stage in over six months, and is also paralyzed by a crippling fear of COVID-19. Roy recaps the weekend and pontificates to the dismay of the chat room while Patrick takes a very important phone call. Patrick has been house shopping, and the inspector calls to tell him some horrible news. …