Comedian CHRIS PORTER joins Patrick in studio today. Patrick’s dog, SkipperLoo, got hit by a car, and Patrick’s real broken up about it. Now Patrick is lonely, and wants the internet to adopt him. Patrick still hates Facebook and everyone’s dumb posts about the Newtown shooting. Chris and Patrick do a lot of arguing about the logistics of deer hunting, and where to buy guns online. Patrick wants to create a gym that will segregate fat and thin people in order to reduce embarrassment for fats. Patrick also wants to shoot up a mall full of people with a puff-painted, bedazzled paintball gun. Chris doesn’t seem to get on board with any of these ideas.