Nobody Likes Onions

It’s time for our very own monster mash! Patrick almost canceled tonight’s Halloween show because he was feeling rough, but he powered through, and hanging out with the Onion Army helped him feel better. Let’s watch Kevin Brennan and his band of merry dum dums waste their Saturday night getting along on Misery Loves Company, gang! KarmicX’s vampire impression sucks, and his eyeliner and Kevin’s teeth get a much closer look than either of them would probably like. Sorcerer explains his Hackamania travel routine, Kevin is only now finding out about the $1,000 Hackamania tickets, and the MLC panel wonders whether Chad Zumock’s new romance is just a way to get people to stop talking about his special. Then we move to Chad’s emergency show, where Chad’s insane new story about a woman he was dating makes no sense. He says he met her at a show in Sarasota, and from there the story involves one date by the bay, a famous father who turns out not to be her real father, a stepmother she blocked, plans for a trip to St. Augustine, a breakup over text, and Chad telling her that her safety is now secure. Patrick explains why he thinks Chad will never have a girlfriend, wonders whether Chad can read his own analog clock, and points out that Chad complaining about being contacted is a lot like the emails Chad used to send him. Chad’s show ends with a walk-and-talk in the rain about anonymous threats and a possible police report, and along the way he admits his venue was free, which raises new questions about where the GoFundMe money went. …