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Bonus Stuff

BONUS: Thai Claps Back!

April 7, 2021

Patrick listens live to the latest collection of clipped together sass Thai calls a podcast to see what's new in the comedy world. Or in Thai's little corner of it. After Thai's long week of burning bridge after bridge, Thai goes in on even more comedians, bookers, and friends. He wrestles with the idea that he has a mental illness, and later in the show begins messaging Patrick DURING THE SHOW begging him to take down the videos and asking what needs to happen to make all this analysis cease. In this special show, we listen to Thai's latest beefs, excuses, lies and even rebuttals to Patrick's overwhelming and constantly accumulating pile of evidence.


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NLO Shows

NLO 1381: THAI RIVERA vs. TRIXX Full Breakdown

April 7, 2021

Joke thievery is no laughing matter! The Las Vegas comedy scene is spicy, and most of the bickering centers around everybody’s favorite drama donut, Thai Rivera, accusing Canadian comedian Trixx of joke theft – the most unforgivable of comedy crimes. Who’s lying? Who did what? Is there more to the story? Let’s listen to what Thai has to say, and hold his attempted joke theft exposure up to what we know about his past behavior. Let’s see what proof and substance Thai provides to try to ruin the reputation of a Canadian comedian he used to call “friend.” Is time running out for Thai in Las Vegas? …

NLO Shows

NLO 1380: Recalibrate Your Crazy

March 29, 2021

It’s another weekend in Las Vegas, and the streets are sizzling with sweet, sweet comedy drama. In this show, Patrick share some great news from his HOA. He grapples with the prospect of getting the vaccine soon and asks for listener feedback. The show might switch to YouTube for live shows soon, because Twitch is too woke. Patrick has taken to selling graphics cards on eBay during the shortage, and has some unkind words for Craigslist shoppers. Patrick recaps all the history with Butch Bradley, as it’s become a topic of discussion again recently. Two individuals on Facebook have caught Patrick’s eye for their short fuses and inability to self-soothe. Catherine Maloney is mad at men, herself and the world, and want’s everyone to know about it. …

NLO Shows

NLO 1379: Pure Hate

March 22, 2021

Patrick continues bitching about the woes of home ownership, including a recent faucet repair and more HOA drama. He also recently found himself furniture shopping and purchasing some sofas from a company called Lovesac. I hope you enjoy fifteen minute rants about customer service and how not to dress your employees. NLO wants to jump on the NFT hypetrain and issue a limited set of NLO trading cards. Stay tuned for more. After a small political rant, Patrick expresses concerns for the mental health of some people on his Facebook news feed, including a comedic peer, Brian Scolaro. Please calibrate your crazy. Flappers Comedy Club is still scamming comics. Comedians are becoming more and more desperate. …

Aftershow Video

Aftershow 1375: Josh Denny / Thai Rivera

February 18, 2021

Our kiwi pal Moody says the show we're watching today would have never happened without us Onions, but who knows? On this bonus show, we watch and review the paywalled morning show that Josh Denny recently did with Thai Rivera. Josh fudges timelines and catches himself several times. Moody calls Josh very racist throughout this show. Thai admits to watching Nobody Likes Onions, and both of them pretend to not know what the other is talking about. Who produces more cringe? Find out now.


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Featured Videos

BONUS: Black Pedro & More!

February 12, 2021

Black Pedro is on fire this time, with claims of financial success and investing wisdom far beyond the age indicated by his hairline. We are still sorting out some issues in the new studio, so bear with us while we test some things out. We hope it's worth is, as we embark on a journey to listen to some of the most insane claims of investing knowledge ever. We also check in on YouTube Donut Operator for some cop videos, and Moody shows us a cringey zoom recording of a British council meeting.


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Featured Videos

PM in the AM: Dec 14, 2020

January 6, 2021

It's all over now. It's moving day. In just hours everything must be in boxes, and Patrick is being super chill about all of it. Maybe. Until he empties the alcohol and starts ripping foam off the walls. It's the last few moments in this iteration of the studio, and you get to watch. Or listen. We talk about Josh Denny, Twitch and their subs, waste management, Vegas comedy, and podcast studio design and desks. Patrick wants to reboot Xzibit's career with a new show.


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Featured Videos

PM in the AM: Dec 10, 2020

December 30, 2020

Patrick sits down for a morning chat with you, his favorite listeners. Twitch has been sending out some long emails lately, and they are making new policies about content almost daily. Get ready for no jokes and no fun online. Patrick thinks he has been hacked because of a camera glitching and his new networking equipment being setup by a crazed fan named Spiro Bronch. Patrick has been painting and doing projects at the new house, which have been keeping him too busy to hang out with you dorks.


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NLO Shows

NLO 1352: Gone In 267 Milliseconds

September 4, 2020

This show is an attempt to make everyone happy. We are taking a break from the latest trend of T2 tirades. So much in this show! Patrick talks too much about graphics cards. The final solution for low-carb pizza cravings is revealed. We teach an old fan some new tricks. Patrick tries to give people investment advice, but he has no idea what he’s talking about. Plus listener supplied topics! …

Featured Videos

NLO 1347: Trez’ Company

August 18, 2020

The Trez Mala deep dive continues, and this well goes deep. Or should we say this dam is high? Either way, strap in as we explore Trez' YouTube and social media to discover just what gives this guy his comedy edge. We learn how to cook eggs on a grill, how eating old pork with mac and cheese in a deep fried tortilla won't kill you instantly, and you don't need six views on a YouTube video to make you a star.


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NLO Shows

NLO 1346: Bad3

August 18, 2020

The gay giving tree that is Thai Rivera has birthed us a new comedian jester to keep our eyes on, Trez Mala. Patrick took years of Spanish in high school. so he’s pretty sure that means “bad three.” Or something close. In the first installment of two, we listen to Trez talk about himself and his comedy roots and philosophy on some other gas weasel’s podcast. If you’ve never heard of the MoonBug Glip Glop podcast, strap in …

NLO Shows

NLO 1337: UNBOTHERED!

July 25, 2020

This Thai Rivera thing was supposed to be over, but Patrick just can’t help himself when it comes to trying to unravel the distorted mental map of a mad man. Dual scourge of the gay and comedy communities, Thai Rivera, does a podcast named after a more famous podcast. Patrick stumbles in the studio and fires up the stream to listen live, and it turns in to a THREE HOUR deconstruction of a broken man who contradicts himself more and more every minute. …

Aftershow Video

Aftershow 1335 – Roy Johnson, Steve Curran

July 19, 2020

Steve Curran has a lot to say, but Roy is struggling to understand much of it in this after show filled with audio issues and arguing. Curran has a chip on his shoulder about his pizza not winning the contest. Listen to advice on bars, doing cocained during a pandemic, and so much more. As always, this advice is brought to you by people who really believe that they're smarter than they are.


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NLO Shows

NLO 1324: Getting Silly

April 23, 2020

Alex Ansel, Adam Dominguez and Chrim Waldorf join Patrick to commiserate about the pandemic and try to find some joy in the world. Patrick is pretty sure he had COVID-19 last week. Chrim Waldorf, aka …

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About Nobody Likes Onions

October 12, 2019

Podcasting since 2005. For over fifteen years, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from Los Angeles, New York, …

NLO Shows

NLO 1313: Pre-Breakdown Roy

July 23, 2019

Patrick is in Tulsa, Oklahoma, catching up with his old friend and one of the first co-hosts to capture the hearts of NLO listeners everywhere, Roy Johnson. Roy is happily in a relationship and has …

NLO Shows

NLO 1310: Superman Sucks

March 17, 2019

Patrick rises from the ashes in Sydney, Australia just to see if anyone is still listening. Comedians Ruven Govender and Sean Michaels are guests on this show of stitched-together conversations that took place on a …