April imholte Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Melton in the Morning – April 18, 2023

April 18, 2023

Come along and join Patrick as he embarks on a comedic journey to create the PlayPlace of podcasts! This morning we celebrate the wonder of the McMuffin, and you may even see Patrick eat himself silly and pop all over the place. That sounds like something nasty, but we assure you it isn’t! Huzzah! Warning – don’t do this. Patrick is an untrained professional with absolutely no experience and absolutely no expertise in competitive eating or dietary intake. This is a dumb show for dumbs. …

Melton in the Morning – McMuffin Monday

April 18, 2023

Come along and join Patrick as he embarks on a comedic journey to create the PlayPlace of podcasts! This morning we celebrate the wonder of the McMuffin, and you may even see Patrick eat himself silly and pop all over the place. That sounds like something nasty, but we assure you it isn’t! Huzzah! Warning – don’t do this. Patrick is an untrained professional with absolutely no experience and absolutely no expertise in competitive eating or dietary intake. This is a dumb show for dumbs. …

Steel Toe CRUMBLES on Compound, Fag Dad, Crazy Joe & More!

April 16, 2023

It’s Friday night and Patrick decides to have some adult juice for the first time in a couple weeks, and it goes off the rails very quickly. Slurred speech and lack of ability to focus are only the beginning of the derailment of this train. Patrick announces a goal for the night and the expiriment doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Find out why peanut butter cup wrappers and paper towels are flying arounf the studio for the majority of this over four hour long debacle of a program. Patrick spills so much drink that nothing may work again. We watch a video of Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show where he opens up about his beta relationship with April Imholte. It’s very funny and very cringe. All the women of the chat gang up on Patrick and call the show to prove they are real ladies, and Earl Skakel missed it all. …

Melton in the Morning – April 14, 2023

April 16, 2023

Friday’s were made for scrimpin’, and that’s just what we’ll do. One of these days I swear I’m gonna scrimp all over you! Mooby and The Scrimp are watching videos of Mooby trying to fight with him ham fists, and even better, trying to train other mealy-minded dopes to fight as well. The superchat grift is getting old to a lot of YouTube fans. Stevie Lew might be becoming an Onion, but it’s hard to tell. Patrick won’t just hate Bert Kreischer because you say so. The chat room teaches Patrick what a baleen is. Corey Adams streamed all night to threes of people and then deleted the video before Patrick could show people. Patrick wants to buy ad time on Steel Toe. Chad Zumock calls in. …

Melton in the Morning – April 13, 2023

April 16, 2023

Patrick has upgraded the entire sound chain in the studio, and gotten rid of the line noise and hiss that has slowly developed and mired the show in an unpleasant audio cacophony. But crisp audio and fun time are on the way. Patrick gets schooled on how to improve the show by David Attenborough. Corey Adam cannot stop showing his ass and we are here for it – you won’t believe how odd his new “show” is. Some ex-comic in Tampa named Mersh or Merch (no one can confirm) seems to be harboring a decade-long resentment of Patrick because of an interaction years ago. Patrick rejected Mersh’s insane offering of post-midnight steaks and skanks, and that has scarred his brain forever. …

Melton in the Morning – April 10, 2023

April 16, 2023

Good Mooby Monday! Come have some fun with Patrick and a train of thought that is sure to exclusively lead you on an adventure through your own brain! On today’s show we forget to even turn on Mooby and his little friend, and when we finally do, he’s seven minutes in to yelling about Patrick watching even though he wasn’t. We watch for half an hour today and bail as soon as Mooby moves on to making fun of black people with songs and voices. Patrick showcases some of the wretched Las Vegas comedy community, including Lex Las Vegas who recently did a comedy sketch parody about Mr. Onion, whatever that means. We call a strange man who challenged us to do so, and Patrick gets conned out of a $100 payday. …

LADIES NIGHT! Peanut Butter Cup Challenge!

April 8, 2023

It’s Friday night and Patrick decides to have some adult juice for the first time in a couple weeks, and it goes off the rails very quickly. Slurred speech and lack of ability to focus are only the beginning of the derailment of this train. Patrick announces a goal for the night and the expiriment doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Find out why peanut butter cup wrappers and paper towels are flying arounf the studio for the majority of this over four hour long debacle of a program. Patrick spills so much drink that nothing may work again. We watch a video of Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show where he opens up about his beta relationship with April Imholte. It’s very funny and very cringe. All the women of the chat gang up on Patrick and call the show to prove they are real ladies, and Earl Skakel missed it all. …

Ask Me Everything – April 4, 2023

April 8, 2023

Need someone to break up with your significant other? Can Patrick work something out between you and your boss, or a parent? Need advice on how to repair something in your house? Have a barbecue problem? Want to know what’s wrong with you? Patrick can help! While answering we explore Tim Heidecker, Patrick’s old standup videos from his super-fat days, Simply Sara, Adam Dominguez and more. We also uncover the Kyle Majestic archive and the world may never be the same. …

Melton in the Morning – April 6, 2023

April 8, 2023

Good morning, fish! The forecast calls for big scrimpin’ and lots of coastal cope cascading the cape! Get it? Alliteration! Aaron reveals what The Tampa Papers are and it’s the most insane thing you’ve ever seen. Corey Adams was on MLC and apparently it was A LOT. Watch as we break down Corey’s insane personality switch, not understand why people don’t like it, and then proceed to lie about Patrick while admitting he’s mad. Have some chamomile and take a nap, Corey. We sell a lot of hats and Patrick needs Kevin Brennan to stop being mad at ghosts he made up in his head. …

Melton in the Morning – April 5, 2023

April 8, 2023

Who will be Mooby’s co-host on the first Wednesday morning with a Corey-free Steel Toe Morning Show? Will it be The Scrimp? What will today’s mid-show snack be? What are The Tampa Files? Will Chad be in trouble? Can Patrick really help you save money on your car insurance? All these questions and more may be answered, but remember that they probably won’t be. We remind every one of Corey Adams potential, we get some great new Aaron and Thai poetry, and Patrick gives his thoughts on Chrissie Mayr while the chat keeps on hating. The best part of today’s show is Aaron trying to convince himself, The Scrimp and the audience that he’s done all he can do on the internet, there is no real competition online, and he needs to return to a small-town terrestrial radio station with April to prove he’s number one without a doubt. …

Melton in the Morning – April 3, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s Monday, and that means a whole new week ahead to try and decipher why we are trapped on this stupid rock, and more importantly, when will this all end? Join Patrick and a cast of animatronic fish as they navigate the world of teenage depressing and lighthearted friendship. We start the show with Patrick discussing a sensitive topic that makes the chat uncomfortable, but who really cares? Today we’re acknowledging the monotony of Mooby and the Gimp, and watching an old Steel Toe Morning Show where April cries several time on camera because her boyfriend lost hisTwitch stream. Mooby and the Scrimp then proceed to alternate between mad and sad, triumphant and defeated, depending on the chat messages. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 31, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and it’s been one hell of a week for our favorite couple, Aaron and Ape of the Steel Toe Morning Show. With Aaron hot off his interview with Ray DeVito in what’s being called the most softball circle jerk on the internet this year, he’s sure to be doing extra victory laps and drinking huge glasses of gloat milk. Let’s join together to see how strong the velcro holding Mooby’s girdle is as his tits will surely be perky this cold Minnesota morning. We will be taking listener submitted drawings of what they think April’s mom might look like. Get your Crayons out! …

Ray DeVito VS. Steel Toe Morning Show

April 8, 2023

Ray Devito has landed an interview with the internet’s hottest grifter, Aaron and April Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show. But Ray has a reputation for going along to get along, being non-confrontational and toothless with his interviewing skills. Can Ray get his act together enough to ask the tough questions? Almost certainly not. Will Ray be able to hold Aaron’s feet to the fire and not accept his worming his way out of topics he doesn’t like? Definitely maybe most likely not. But will it be fun to watch Steel Toe navigate the treacherous waters of one of the safest interviewers performing amidst some of the meanest and most pointed superchats ever. Will it be worth watching? Find out with the Onions! …

Steel Toe Prize Night – March 29, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s PRIZE NIGHT at the Imholte household. April has a new t-shirt she’s slit down the front so you can see those honkers, and the bingo hopper has fresh shine to it from all the shrimpy egg juice in the air. Will Aaron be so stupid as to perform his illegal lottery right before our very eyes, thereby entitling all of us to compensatory legal action? Only time will tell! Join Patrick and a bunch of idiots who think that somehow throwing money at two midwestern midwits somehow means that they themselves are winners. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 29, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s a DOUBLE-BANGER of a day, as we rise to Corey’s last morning on Steel Toe, and there’s a double layer of cope that is sure to envelope the entire show. Corey has to convince himself he’s on to bigger and better things, and Mooby has to act like a father who is allowing his son to head off in to the world to try to live up to the teachings of his sloppy-titted mentor. Mooby has decided to donate half the superchats from today to Corey – an original idea for certain. Will there be a lot of discussion about Corey leaving? Will Mooby be able to fill four hours without having a goal to reach? And will the fans turn up for Corey and donate a lot of money for his big send off? Only time will tell. …

MEMBERS ONLY – March 24, 2023

March 26, 2023

It’s Friday and Patrick has a special show just for channel supporters that you aren’t going to want to miss out on! Patrick is concerned about Michael Ray Bower and his recent videos which seem to indicate that he doesn’t really have a good place to sleep at night, and we confirm it by revisiting his old Bower bachelor box apartment tour. We take a preview look at Zach Halverson, who is destined to be the new floating second mic at the Steel Toe Morning Show. Zach seems to suck at comedy, singing Christian rock songs, and also being straight. That’s right – Aaron Imholte’s new funny man is gay, and that could spell trouble for Aaron Imholte, who loves using that word as a slur. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 24, 2023

March 25, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and Steel Toe Morning Show is falling apart.Cohosts are leaving, Corey is on the verge of softly spilling the details of the inner-workings of Steel Toe, and Scrimp is getting ready to go pick up Mooby’s kids at a gas station for a weekend of eggy frolicking through a winter vomit wonderland! We discover some very alarming information about relatives of Steel Toe Morning Show, and have several good laughs as Aaron and April go nuclear about it. The Steel Toe chat is under siege and they can’t delete the mean stuff quick enough. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 23, 2023

March 25, 2023

It’s THURSDAY and that means Mooby and The Second Wife only have seventeen shows to do before they head across town to do an awkward custody exchange at a Wal-Mart parking lot. We check in with Buzzard Bob on the road, get a call from Shuli to explain why Patrick should consider moving to the Shuli network, and watch Corey Adam bathe himself in delusion on the Misery Loves Company podcast with Kevin Brennan. The cringe is real, the laughs are aplenty, and the way you decide to let it consume your life is a personal choice! …