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ALOHA! Emergency Episode!
Patrick is in Hawaii and wants to check in on you lovely people. Come say aloha and hang ten, bro!
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chad zumock
Featured Videos
ZUMOCKMANIA! Open Mic Comic CHAD ZUMOCK Can’t Stop WORRYING!
Come on, people, now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together. Try to love one another right now. Shutup, Chad! Patrick breaks down the MLC confrontation and fields calls from viewers who have their own hot takes! …
NLO Shows
January 11, 2024: PANIC and LIES! Chad Zumock is CHOKING! Corey Adam Keeps Trying To Internet!
Happy Thursday, you young and free rapscallions! Chen Zumock is hurdling towards failure in Atlantic City, and Geno Bisconte has the fat mudshark floundering around in his own blubber. The cope is real as we cross the one-month mark until the most embarrassing attempt at proving relevance since “Mudshark Loves Misery.” We break down how pathetic Zumock is and why he needs friends and shows on his calendar so desperately. Corey Adam is always good for a laugh, and his latest show is no different. We check in with the Haulrus to see if his eighty thousand fans showed up this week, or if it was another complete bust that he “doesn’t care about.” …
NLO Shows
CHAD ZUMOCK: DryBar’s Biggest Dummy!
Happy FRIDAY! Join Patrick in putting a tight bow on this weeks mayhem. We have an art contest today, and it’s sure to make KC Armstrong squirm in his pantaloons! We want to see your best homo-erotic interpretation of KC Armstrong from the Howard Stern show – whether he’s dolled up with nowhere to go, or lounging around with the “boys,” we want to see it. Michael Ray Bower has been putting out no content and wants the haters to know he is killing it. What is this delusion that once “kind-of-celebs” have that makes them thing they have the clout and skills to be big stars today? …
NLO Shows
January 5, 2024: Kevin Brennan SCARED? Chad Zumock LOOPS Ogain!
Kevin Brennan is full wackadoo and it’s funnier than ever! Chad Zumock tries a new time slot and runs away from his own shadow. Watch as the once-bold mudshark folds and runs away in seconds. Kate Meaney asks the internet if she should do a podcast, confirming that she is deeper in her own delusion than the last man to sprinkle seed deep inside her colon. Steel Toe is doing their Rumble Friday best to get you excited about what’s coming up on the show today. Watch the life drain out of April before your very eyes as Mooby regales her with movie quotes and act outs that seem to make her physically ill. Why are these guys so confused about what is? Let’s try to get to the bottom of things! …
NLO Shows
January 2, 2024: Is RAY DEVITO Improving? Kate Meaney LOVES Narcotics? Chad’s Drunk NYE Tantrum
It’s a new year, but don’t tell that to the biggest dopes in the dummyverse. Chad Zumock boycotts his new zaddy last minute and spends New Year’s Eve alone angry tweeting. Don’t worry – he deleted them all later, like a real panini. Kate Meaney loves comedy and loves hanging out with friends on podcasts! She has nothing to say but she has so much fun anyway! She definitely doesn’t have daddy issues and probably doesn’t definitely have a giant nose candy problem! Ray Devito is good for laughs for the foreseeable future, and that’s good news for us. A perpetual well of laughs for the most rugged amongst us! He wouldn’t know how to act normal if it fell off a truck.
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Featured Videos
MEMBERS ONLY: Friday Night MLC BREAKDOWN! Agents of CHAOS!
It’s FRIDAY night, and it’s never been more angry in the air! Tongiht we break down some of the lies told by failed comedienne Chad Zumock, and his new adopted father Kevin Brennan. The grift train keeps on cooking, so don’t even come around here if you’re poor, you sad sacks of soylent! Tonight – Patrick notices a new tick that Chad has developed, we lol as hard as possible at Chad’s constant hoop-jumping, as well as the equipment he’s hoarding for his new studio. And most of all we can’t help but focus on whatever the fork it is Chad keep doing with DAT MOUF! …
NLO Shows
December 28, 2023: Chad Zumock’s DESPERATE Show! Geno & Kiki CAVE! Kevin Is SCARED? WHOA!
The new year has the miseryverse in a spiral, and everyone seems to have forgotten their characters and lines! But too much snow and indoor light can make anyone nutty enough to forget their place. Kevin Brennan is completely off his rocker and cannot be helped. Chad Zumock has so much to prove to nobodies of people that he has booked one of his “cucks” to do his sad Atlantic City spitefest. How many tickets will sell to this garbage fire in the armpit of AC? Bob Levy has Kevin Brennan scared. Geno Bisconte and his girl are down to make a cool $200. Ray Devito stands his ground and rejects Chad’s show offers, but does anyone’s word mean anything anymore? Spoiler alert! NO! …
NLO Shows
December 24, 2023: THE EVENING: It’s About To Get EVEN More EVEN!
Won’t you poor some scrimpnog and join Patrick and a cast of merry elves as they bring cheer and karma to those who deserve it? ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through YouTube, not a lolcow was streaming, not Mershy or Moob. Not Hudson, not Mudshark, not Devito’s dumb charm, and no one was discussing Kate Meaney’s fat arm. But what are the children and lost souls to do? Scream thrice for Uncle Melty, and dreams will come true. Come bong hits and coughing and a menacing grin! It’s time for Nobody Likes Onions…ogain! …
NLO Shows
December 22, 2023: Did Chad PRANK Patrick? Kate Meaney Shows Off! Ray Loses ANOTHER Dad!
Kevin Brennan has kicked Ray to the curb, after making him quit the Shuli Network and his own stream out of loyalty. Will Ray ever realize the toxic push and pull of Kevin is wreaking havoc on his joints! Chad Zumock panics like a fool again when Patrick reveals another traitor in his midst. Get the full behind-the-scenes breakdown of events on today’s show. Kate Meaney keeps on doing podcasts, and may even be launching her own project very soon. Don’t believe it? Hear it from her own mouth as she sits down with Ray for a dull-off the likes of which you’ve never seen! Hit the like button and wish yourself a merry little Christmas! …
NLO Shows
December 19, 2023: Helping The OLD! Corey Feldman’s New Funko! Redneck Recipes & More!
It’s Tuesday, and it’s been so long since the audience of this show has been trained properly. Today we learn how to give some well-earned service to the most elderly amongst us. Chad Zumock is spiraling and Atlantic City will be great. We’ve got some new characters to check out, and those characters want to share some culinary knowledge. Hope you like tater tots and beans! Corey Feldman has some new toys he wants to show off, and he dressed all weird and brought his creep energy to the party to tell you about it. Joey C plans his domination of the AM radio market. …
NLO Shows
CHAD ZUMOCK: Drunk Comedy LOLCOW Can’t Stop Drinking & Sucking!
Ding dong! It’s Saturday night and the mood is right! Come on down to watch the latest edition of Chad Zumock, alcoholic fail whale, completely embarrass himself for about thirty dollars. The worst part is the helpless little pig can’t keep himself sober enough to do his own gig! Drink up, piggy! Atlantic City is in two months and reality awaits you at the Borgata! Come find out how many fans are on your side, oink boy! The difference between this fantasy world where Chad has fans and the stark reality of Chad trying to act popular in person is going to be a sight to behold. …
NLO Shows
December 15, 2023 PART 2: Let’s Get It Poppin Fresh! The After-MLC Breakdown!
Many hours have passed and the landscape has changed. Chad Zumock and Kate Meaney have been emboldened by the recent backlash of Kevin Brennan on Patrick. After gushing for weeks and calling him the sheriff of the dabbleverse, the worm has turned and Patrick is seemingly on the outs with the pink hot dog man. But Kevin doesn’t need Patrick. He has Ray, and Kate Meaney, and let’s not forget his number one son, Chad Zumock. Kevin says Patrick shouldn’t come to Atlantic City, but how could the Big Onion miss this party? It’s on in Atlantic City baby! Let’s wrap up the week and try to smooth things over on this second installment of the Friday Onion program. Kick back and relax with Melton and the kids! There’s no reason to be upset. This has all been a big misunderstanding! …
NLO Shows
BROWN-EYE BONUS! The Kate Meaney Chronicles! A Dumb Woman WASTES Her Family Legacy!
Toot toot! All aboard the Poo Poo Choo Choo! Kate Meaney is already spiraling OGAIN after trying to control her own image on Twitter and MLC all day. This chick is a wreck, and the more she talks, the funnier it gets. I’ve got good news and bad news for Kate Meaney, daughter of comedian Kevin Meaney; today you finally provided some hilarious content, but it once again revolved around what a delicious snack that bootyhole was for your ex-boyfriend – the one you said had a tiny peen. Anyway, girl. Let’s talk about it! …
NLO Shows
December 4, 2023: The THACKERING Begins! Planet Goes DIRTY! Donkeylips Has BIG DREAMS!
It’s Monday, and it’s the start of a new month, and we couldn’t be happier that you’ve decided to join us here at The Onions. Patrick went to see Adam Sandler over the weekend and aside from having to watch his daughter sing a Taylor Swift cover song for nine minutes while the Sandman wept and played guitar, it was ok. We found out one of our favorite fatties has a dirty clips site and you can download a lot of gore that is sure to turn the bits and bytes on your hard drive rotten in no time. Opie Radio really is a delusional guy. Michael Ray Bower killed a cat in his dream and he thinks it’s something he needs to memorialize from a toilet vlog. Steel Toe is so far ahead of making their goals that you’re going to be sorry. Our favorite dumb financial advisor is back with a new podcast where she interviews other dumb girls about their financial mistakes and we learn nothing. …
NLO Shows
November 30, 2023: Chad Zumock DOUBLES DOWN On DUMB!
Chad Zumock is desperate for attention. He’s an unloved alcoholic with no income, no prospects for a career, and no friends or relationships to lean on as a support system. After being arrested over and over for victimizing veterans and the elderly, stealing identities and credit cards, stealing from stores, driving drunk in to trees, losing jobs at radio stations, and lying about career credits and highlights, what’s a loser from Cleveland in subsidized housing to do? Chad’s latest Thanksgiving grift is afoot! Watch as we dive in to Chad’s lies and Chad’s cope on the latest EMERGENCY EDITION of Nobody Likes Onions. Who is dumber? Chad Zumock or the person he thinks you are? The startling criminal history and the journey of cascading mistakes by a dummy at the end of his rope are in this crucial episode! …
NLO Shows
November 28, 2023: Happy Holidays? MAYBE NOT! Back to BASIC!
It’s Tuesday morning, and the plebs are frothing in the aisles for a new NLO. What will Patrick be mad about this morning? Will there be a classic rant against one of the fans for some minuscule reason? You can almost guarantee! We check in with some of our favorite nuts to see how they’re gearing up for the holidays. Is the loneliness enough to break some of our favorites, or will the holiday spirit prevail and allow happiness to shine forth? There’s no telling, but we are definitely here to watch it all. Mchael Ray Bower is at his lowest and his blurriest on the latest stream about his health and future plans. Steel Toe is terrified of medical news and has a cool new blackface story to tell you. Chad still has no idea what he is doing and his snipe streams are becoming less and less impressive. If you’re looking for a killer banana pudding recipe and need something to do with your gross boiled eggs. we have a woman with a few tricks up her sleeveless shirt. …
NLO Shows
November 27, 2023: CRANKSGIVING! Kevin Brennan Is a GRUMP, Chad Zumock Lies, SORRY!
Just a reminder than nobody owes you anything and Patrick isn’t your real dad. You should probably find a new life with a new family. Patrick is doing a quick show to give his thoughts on the past week and the events of the day, and we are going to try to resume our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. Why is Chad pretending to be in some sort of peril? Kevin Brennan is very concerned with everyone else and their productivity schedules. Ray Devito is getting weirder and weirder by the moment. Tookie is in trouble or something. I hope you had a nice time with your friends and family. Let’s get back to the nuts! …