Page 39 • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1382: Getting Gooky

April 7, 2021

Patrick is joined in the studio by comedian Matt Markman, who has the honor of being the first guest in our new studio. Matt is vaccinated, and Patrick recently had his first shot of the Pfizer shot. The guys discuss vaccination and conspiracies, along with what might be in it for Bill Gates if he is, in fact, microchipping all of us. Patrick wants to get a puppy, and is overwhelmed by the number of “doodle” breeds available. Rick’s Wings N’ Rings has some new dishes they’d like to promote during the show. Matt prefers comic book movies to things like Godzilla vs. Kong, but Patrick appreciates the latter for it’s authenticity. A Tampa Bay Buccaneer us under fire for using a racial slur in a tweet. Rage rooms are taking over, Cool Cat is back, and more. …

BONUS: Thai Claps Back!

April 7, 2021

Patrick listens live to the latest collection of clipped together sass Thai calls a podcast to see what's new in the comedy world. Or in Thai's little corner of it. After Thai's long week of burning bridge after bridge, Thai goes in on even more comedians, bookers, and friends. He wrestles with the idea that he has a mental illness, and later in the show begins messaging Patrick DURING THE SHOW begging him to take down the videos and asking what needs to happen to make all this analysis cease. In this special show, we listen to Thai's latest beefs, excuses, lies and even rebuttals to Patrick's overwhelming and constantly accumulating pile of evidence.

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NLO 1381: THAI RIVERA vs. TRIXX Full Breakdown

April 7, 2021

Joke thievery is no laughing matter! The Las Vegas comedy scene is spicy, and most of the bickering centers around everybody’s favorite drama donut, Thai Rivera, accusing Canadian comedian Trixx of joke theft – the most unforgivable of comedy crimes. Who’s lying? Who did what? Is there more to the story? Let’s listen to what Thai has to say, and hold his attempted joke theft exposure up to what we know about his past behavior. Let’s see what proof and substance Thai provides to try to ruin the reputation of a Canadian comedian he used to call “friend.” Is time running out for Thai in Las Vegas? …

Aftershow 1379: Zoom Comedy, Triggers

March 29, 2021

Patrick kicks off the show by trying to show off a new app that has been developed just for desperate comedians. As if Zoom shows are not bad enough, now there's an app that let's "comedians" perform live nightly to earn worthless points for twos of people. It's getting rough out there. Patrick has trouble getting his iPad to display correctly on the stream. We watch a really cringe video with a conservative black commentator named Jesse Lee Peterson with comedians Shang and Ty Barnett. The comic duo seem to be confused about whether they are being held down or thriving in this era of racism. We learn what Christmas crackers are, because it's not really an American thing. Long story short for anyone who doesn't know - it's not worth learning about.

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NLO 1380: Recalibrate Your Crazy

March 29, 2021

It’s another weekend in Las Vegas, and the streets are sizzling with sweet, sweet comedy drama. In this show, Patrick share some great news from his HOA. He grapples with the prospect of getting the vaccine soon and asks for listener feedback. The show might switch to YouTube for live shows soon, because Twitch is too woke. Patrick has taken to selling graphics cards on eBay during the shortage, and has some unkind words for Craigslist shoppers. Patrick recaps all the history with Butch Bradley, as it’s become a topic of discussion again recently. Two individuals on Facebook have caught Patrick’s eye for their short fuses and inability to self-soothe. Catherine Maloney is mad at men, herself and the world, and want’s everyone to know about it. …

NLO 1379: Pure Hate

March 22, 2021

Patrick continues bitching about the woes of home ownership, including a recent faucet repair and more HOA drama. He also recently found himself furniture shopping and purchasing some sofas from a company called Lovesac. I hope you enjoy fifteen minute rants about customer service and how not to dress your employees. NLO wants to jump on the NFT hypetrain and issue a limited set of NLO trading cards. Stay tuned for more. After a small political rant, Patrick expresses concerns for the mental health of some people on his Facebook news feed, including a comedic peer, Brian Scolaro. Please calibrate your crazy. Flappers Comedy Club is still scamming comics. Comedians are becoming more and more desperate. …

NLO 1378: Ban Basil

March 17, 2021

Patrick begins the show with anger about a pizza he ordered that got delivered with a bushel of basil, and he's not really a basil man. But seriously, take a bite out of this hot gardening talk. There's drama brewing in the comedy community, and while Patrick is refusing to say much, he also says quite a bit. He just wishes people would understand he's a fair man. Josh Denny is doing the podcast rounds recently, and speaking of round, check out those cheeks! Josh says he is going back on tour, but we didn't knew he was ever on tour. Also, this new tour seems to consist of one show in rural Pennsylvania bar. Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, is dead now, but the dream of owning his home could live on, if you like dumps in the middle of nowhere.

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Aftershow 1377: SpaceX, Black Pedro

March 4, 2021

Patrick is back for a 3+ hour after show that starts with a watch of the latest SpaceX Starship test, which takes off, lands and then promptly explodes minutes laters. We're watching the latest Black Pedro nonsense, and it's worse than ever. Black Pedro gets drunk and embarrassingly flubs his wa through news stories, while failing to understand simple concepts about why a reporter might be biased for a story. We talk about graphics cards and the shortage of chips, a hot new jail show Patrick has discovered, more political and racial discourse, and so much more.

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NLO 1377: Build a Bubble

March 4, 2021

Patrick starts the show out with a mini rant about Twitch and their weird mechanisms for creators. A string of rapid subscription triggers something called a hypetrain, and that seems inappropriate. There seems to be some memory of Golden Corral that has triggered a very emotional rant from Patrick about chocolate fondue. The show had the best of intentions, but an off-handed line intended to support an argument triggers a tangent of conversation, aggravation and consternation that eventually leads to a fan getting upset at a chat bot, spinning out, and quitting the show. …

Aftershow 1376: Black Pedro Video Scandal!

February 26, 2021

Patrick settles in for an aftershow and there's so many ways we can go today. We dive in to the latest Savage AF show, to hear how much Shang and Black Pedro can beat a dead horse. There's still no sign of this Black Pedro album, and we get curious and decide to look up videos. As it turns out, Pedro Hernandez has very little footage available only. Most of it is dated, and, get this - he keep uploading the same clip every few months for the past FOUR YEARS! There's also some Thai Rivera and Josh Denny stuff. The Locals community is NOT working out.

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NLO 1376: Phantoms & Feet

February 26, 2021

Patrick has been working hard on rearranging the studio, hanging lights and other show paraphernalia from the rafters. With only a trusty drill, sorry, impact driver, in one hand and the other one gorilla glued to itself, it’s all sure to turn out well. The US Postal Service is getting new vehicles, and somehow they’re worse. Patrick is on the hunt for both a ghost that might be tapping or slamming things in the night, as well as what may or may not be a pack of pigeons inside a computer. Have you ever wanted to have a drag queen deliver your dinner? Us either. Do you have ADHD? It’s time we found out. …

NLO 1375: Stonky Kong

February 18, 2021

Patrick is settling in to the new studio, and while there’s still a lot of adjustments to make, there’s even more crap to talk about that’s happened in the past couple of months. Patrick has finally gotten a haircut, and he wants you to know about it. We talk about all the recent market moves, from the recent GameStop peaking to the latest developments in Bitcoin. Patrick wants to get a Tesla, and he thinks Bill Gates is jealous of Elon Musk. We skim the top of some political stuff, and Patrick gets outraged at the though of others having opinions, as usual. The Super Bowl was a massacre, but Patrick loved it. …

Aftershow 1375: Josh Denny / Thai Rivera

February 18, 2021

Our kiwi pal Moody says the show we're watching today would have never happened without us Onions, but who knows? On this bonus show, we watch and review the paywalled morning show that Josh Denny recently did with Thai Rivera. Josh fudges timelines and catches himself several times. Moody calls Josh very racist throughout this show. Thai admits to watching Nobody Likes Onions, and both of them pretend to not know what the other is talking about. Who produces more cringe? Find out now.

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BONUS: Black Pedro & More!

February 12, 2021

Black Pedro is on fire this time, with claims of financial success and investing wisdom far beyond the age indicated by his hairline. We are still sorting out some issues in the new studio, so bear with us while we test some things out. We hope it's worth is, as we embark on a journey to listen to some of the most insane claims of investing knowledge ever. We also check in on YouTube Donut Operator for some cop videos, and Moody shows us a cringey zoom recording of a British council meeting.

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Savage AF Watch Party

February 12, 2021

Patrick fires up the stream to do some testing, but ultimately Twitch is being a nightmare. We switch over to YouTube to see if they can handle our bandwidths, and fire up the latest iteration of Savage AF to hear what insane racist rants Black Pedro will unleash today. Will it be lies about airline fees for black people? Claims of a literal white privilege card? A preview of his upcoming album that he can't get to play? All of the above?

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Aftershow 1374: Savage AF, Race Warz

February 12, 2021

Patrick continues combing over this episode of Savage AF, which is full of stimulating race conversation. The conversation then becomes more personal and Patrick begins discussing race issues candidly with everyone's favorite kiwi, Moody. Patrick and Moody go back and forth for quite a bit discussing race and identity, both confident and steadfast in their points of view, but also reasonable. Nothing gets solved, the world is still on fire, and we keep on keeping on.

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NLO 1374: What’s Poppin’?

February 4, 2021

Patrick goes over the drama that has unfolded over the past day regarding Thai Rivera and the Savage A.F. podcast. Black Pedro blocks the NLO instagram account for no reason and refuses to answer a tweet. Patrick opens the show telling people to enlist in his new ANT army. We discuss our new sponsor and then dive in to a dissection of the Savage A.F. show, where we find out that Shang really wants you to subscribe, nobody has time for chroma keying, and so much more. …

Aftershow 1373: Thai, Josh Denny

February 3, 2021

Patrick continues covering the clusterfuck of a podcast that Thai Rivera did with fellow comics Shang and Black Pedro. It gets even more ridiculous as Thai begins the act like he has somehow made a fool out of Shang and Pedro. They both spiral in to hypothetical arguments, spurious emotional anecdotes, and straight-up name calling. It's hard to tell who is more cringe in this abortion of a broadcast.

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