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NLO 1408: Trolls and Tables

January 6, 2022

Happy 2022! Alex “Kool Aid” Ansel is in studio. Betty White didn’t make it, but we all did. We have a new character in the chat named Concerned Troll, but he doesn’t seem to be able to communicate effectively when doling out criticism. Patton Oswalt is a disgraceful worm, and the amount of fake diplomacy he demonstrated is disgustingly insincere. Patrick has a new fascination with Kevin Brennan after a recent weekend working with comedian Chad Zumock. There’s a big misunderstanding about conventions and tables. Patrick isn’t in to Dune, Spider Man, or the Matrix – is he officially old? Kool Aid has grown out of watching wrestling. Thai Rivera recently stunk it up and a New Year’s Eve show. Kool Aid walks us through memories of the Burger King BK Kid’s Club. …

NLO 1407: Clawee

December 22, 2021

It’s the week before Christmas, but as an adult, how much should you care? Do you have kids? Do you have them go to a mall and sit on Santa’s lap? Seems like some sick, weird stuff. You better not have raped. Patrick has been force-feeding his dog CBD after her laparoscopic spay surgery. People who feel too strongly one way or another about mask mandates are mentally ill. Speaking of mentally ill, Patrick is worried about society not really caring about facts or accurate historical understanding. Tesla is sold out of cars until 2023 and Patrick thinks he should just yeet and order one with the hopes he will be able to afford it by then. Thai Rivera has moved into a room and doesn’t seem happy about it. Patrick is going through a very traumatizing divorce. …

Aftershow 1406: Josh Denny Breaks Down!

December 6, 2021

Josh Denny has had about enough. He's a man with limits. He has been quiet about this for almost eight years. Or four. Maybe six? Who remembers? But enough is enough. Patrick may think he's won, hiding his vitriol behind his paywall because he's terrified of the wrath of Josh's attorneys. Plus, it's easy for Patrick to go through life worry-free due to the privilege he's derived from his private school education and inheritances, which has all contributed to his generational wealth. What the fuck is this about? Josh is on an emotional, angry bender, and it seems money is the root of all his bitterness. You won't believe how little this dope knows about ANYTHING as he tips hand after hand in a game of ignorance poker the likes of which has never been seen.

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NLO 1406: All Dogs Have Dreams

December 3, 2021

Patrick didn’t want this show to be like this, but sometimes you can’t control the direction of a circus. Patrick reveals a recent issue he’s been having in bed. No, not like that. But it involves pillows, intruders, sleep paralysis, and questions of time and space. It’s even having an influence on Patrick’s dog’s sleep habits, and we need answers. Thai Rivera left his apartment because it was too expensive, and had the cops called on him for being abusive and belligerent. Rumor has it that he’s sleeping in his car with Bijou while driving between here and Reno to service his new boyfriend/victim. Josh Denny is more emotional and angry than we could have ever known, and he lets it slip in a recent video therapy session. Juul wants to draw Patrick’s blood for money. …

NLO 1405: Goodluck N

November 23, 2021

Patrick is completing his transition, and not one of the fun ones where you end up with a shiny new reproductive organ. He’s completing his transition in to a childless father. A dad in spirit, if you will. This week, Patrick went shopping for patio furniture and also bought a freezer for the garage. This is peak dad behavior. Patrick is offended at Big Irish Jay’s phone etiquette after refusing to gossip about a friend. Thai Rivera is in a relationship, so star the countdown to explosive and manic behavior when it all unravels this spring. The news is frustrated when black people commit crimes, and they have to try to report around it. Patrick fell in to the trap of unintended racism this week when having some furniture delivered. Christian Finnegan joins the show to talk about his new comedy special. …

Aftershow 1404: Josh Denny’s Alternate Reality

November 19, 2021

Talk about a blast from the past! Don't call it a comeback! Our friend Earl Skakel finds his way in to Josh Denny's home to do an episode of Josh's latest podcast, Jenksterz, and they get deep in to some old shit. Josh launches in to stories about Patrick and begins to weave a quilt of malformed memories that leave even seasoned fans of Denny's normal horseshit astounded. Josh then begins to go in to some insane story about Patrick refusing to help Tom Segura launch his podcast, and continue attacking the character of the most fair man on the podcasting planet. Watch Denny squirm in Patrick's old kitchen while Earl sticks up for Patrick, and Denny accuses Patrick of networking and making friends in Los Angeles comedy spheres.

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NLO 1404: A Wristed Development

November 15, 2021

Patrick has been taking the week before his birthday to relax and float about in his newly installed swim spa. The bubbly warm waters flowing over a boy’s parts is rejuvenating to no end. Ask someone about it. It’s the fountain of youth for a senior citizen such as Patrick. We start the show by noting the fragility of life and taking a moment to remember another fallen comedian this week. Does anyone know what to do with a broken or busted wrist? Is there a wrist doctor or some sort of hand specialty place you can go to? Patrick wants to smoke a brisket for Thanksgiving, but thinks he needs a turkey as a backup. Also what are the must-have Thanksgiving sides right now? Josh Denny does an interview where his memory is broken. …

NLO 1403: Spa Sabotage

November 6, 2021

Patrick is back from the road, has stories about it, and has some new steam to vent about his recent white people problem. Patrick recounts his drive from Oklahoma back to Las Vegas, powered by a combination of sheer will and prescription medication. Patrick has been waiting for the day his glorious swim spa would arrive for over 9 months now. After several delays from the factory, the sales people, the electrical permitting, and the HOA, it’s finally arrived. But nothing goes smoothly when you’re dealing with contractors, and Patrick’s march towards swimming freedom has been no different. It’s a tale of miscommunication, mistrust, dead moms and dead cats, incompetence and ultimately theft. You won’t want to miss this midnight hang. Call your mom. Tell her my mom said it was ok. …

NLO 1402: Checking Chad

October 22, 2021

Patrick is on the road, and that means less frequent podcasts, slower uploads, and disgruntled listeners everywhere. It’s ok, kids. You’ll be fine. More shows are on the way. On this episode, Patrick sits down with comedian Chad Zumock to talk about their week working in Tulsa, Oklahoma, as well as various topics in the world, from the ongoing nightmare of the pandemic to Brian Laundrie and his insane caper to escape the authorities. Chad is also in the middle of a feud with his fellow podcast host an friend Kevin Brennan revolving around Chad’s friendship with comedian Dave Landau. Kevin doesn’t like Dave and he apparently thinks that Chad shouldn’t be friends with him either. …

Aftershow 1401: Trouble in Thai-land!

October 10, 2021

Patrick is headed to Oklahoma, Kansas and Arkansas, but before he goes, it feels like we should at least cover the latest insanity rising up out of the sweltering sewer that is Las Vegas comedy. Let's go over the recent events perpetrated by everyone's favorite dramatic dildo, Thai Rivera, and the horniest promoter this side of St. Louis, Trouble aka Artemis Rios! These two have been at each other's throats (and not in the gay way) for a year it seems. One is a desperate comedian struggling to validate his career in the public eye while still working hotel pool gigs, and the other is trying to convince a new wave of tourist pussy every weekend that he runs the hottest comedy show in Vegas while putting up open mic talent to headline.

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NLO 1401: Boobies & The Blowfish

October 5, 2021

Patrick wants you to subscribe and follow his standup YouTube channel for a project he will be doing all October long, writing new bits and uploading successes and failures along the way. Patrick talks about some recent outings, which leads to a discussion of Eddie Ifft, Chad Zumock, and Graham Elwood. Patrick recounts his experience with Graham Elwood years ago, and we watch the awful music video he made. Josh Denny has been making the rounds as a new right-wing nut, and he’s against abortions now. We find an old show where Josh talks about convincing a maid he knocked up to kill that baby, and check out his newest show, Next Week Tonight. There’s also some rumors going around about the recent fentanyl oopsie involving the death of three comics. …

NLO 1399: Mackie Claps Back!

September 15, 2021

In what can only be deemed a "check-in with some creeps," Patrick settles in for a long hard night of deep diving in to dementia. Josh Denny has been off our radar for awhile, but apparently he's turned in to a real right-wing kook and is trying to get new fans by trolling Food Network. Again. Artemio Rios aka Trouble in Vegas is still not paying people, according to some DM's that recently splashed up on Patrick's leg while taking a hot brown. Diaz Mackie makes a video that he probably shouldn't be making, firmly denying the allegations against him, but not really making any coherent points. He claims to have emails that will be detrimental to his accuser, and he wants desperately tp talks a polygraph test on a podcast.

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NLO 1400: Hilton, Horns & Honey Boy

September 15, 2021

Patrick is back after struggling to get the studio PC up and running for four days. He is in a surly mood after having his beard lopped off with no warning. Things didn’t get much better with his accommodation in NYC, where the hotel had leaks, no television or housekeeping service, and so many. ore gruesome issues. He is now banned from that Hilton property after yelling at one of the concierge trolls. There’s blood all over the house, but it’s dog blood. Don’t worry, it’s the good kind. Patrick made a dry run at smoking a brisket, and can’t stop eating crap. Texas is a hypocritical basket of barbecue. All this and more comedy drama in the Las Vegas scene! …

Aftershow 1398: Salsa Samplin’

September 3, 2021

Patrick is known around the world as one of the fairest men. So when it comes to sampling the salsa of his enemies, it's a controversial endeavor. Thai Rivera and several local comedians desperate to be liked by everyone are partaking of Karla's Homemade Salsa, a condiment whipped up in Butch Bradley's kitchen between improvised flights of whimsy and angry bouts of rage by his girlfriend. The logo may be a pepper fingering it's own asshole, but can the salsa deliver on flavor? Find out as Patrick samples both the red and green (that's roja y verde for you locals) on some store-bought chips. Are the rumors of it being too salty true? Will it make a good vodka cocktail? Who knows? It's salsa. OR IS IT???

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NLO 1398: Eat the Homeless

September 3, 2021

Patrick is back from NYC and he’s seen enough of your world to know he doesn’t want to be in it. Somehow this show dips it’s toes in to the icy waters of politics and doomsday again. with even more yelling and intolerance by grandpa Melton. Patrick thinks the answer is much simpler than you think – you might just be stupid. Twitter wars are back and more fun than ever! Patrick has some interesting ideas for disposing of homeless people. Vegas comedy thirst traps revealed. Thai Rivera is making even more enemies in the world of comedy. Sexual assault is bubbling up in the Las Vegas comedy scene again, with our friend Kool-Aid taking some heat, as well as comedian Diaz Mackie facing some tough new allegations with wrinkled old receipts. …

NLO Classic: Heavy Dooty (Show 764)

August 27, 2021

CHRIS FAIRBANKS is here and he’s giving us the low-down on whether Ellen seems like a nice person or not, and also offering up theories on how weird porno works. BRIAN KING is also in the studio, and we talk about the Oscars and tweeting, watch the most annoying baby commercial ever, and check in on 90’s sensation Scatman John to see what his career was made of. A fan, Daniel, sits in and brings Patrick a gift. Chris talks about one of his first experiences in L.A., and how he almost died getting involved in others’ business. Patrick has a new plan on how to get everything you have for free. It’s super difficult to find a phone number for Jim Carrey, we look back on Dennis the Menace to see what was so funny about the past, and Patrick tries to get people to use a catch phrase that he can’t exactly remember. …

Aftershow 1397: Trouble in Vegas, Thai Rivera’s Pilot Script!

August 18, 2021

There's so much drama in the Las Vegas comedy community, sometimes it's hard to know whether to just ignore it, or to dive in and cover it all. But you have to talk about something, and they say write what you know. Whatever that means. Artemio Rios aka Trouble in Vegas aka I Am Las Vegas is causing some dissent in the scene by questionable behavior when it comes to the ladies, as well as paying comedians. We talk about a comic named William Strange and touch on his hypocrisy involving the Butch Bradley incident. Will this spell the end for the Splash pool party and comedy show at The Artisan, or give birth to an entirely new brand of creepy trying-oh-so-hard-to-be-hip-and-sexy shows? The main course of the evening is a pilot script dropped in Patrick's lap by an old acquaintance of Thai's.

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NLO 1397: For The Greater Good

August 18, 2021

Patrick can’t seem to get it together. He’s got things to rant about. He has opinions on things from an old friend’s newest podcast to some racist job ads he saw recently. He wants to brag about things like learning how to make onion rings from Bobby Flay and getting his swim spa early. Everything devolves quickly into an argument about personal freedoms and vaccine mandates by government and businesses. And of course, the DRAMA. The Las Vegas comedy scene is bananas right now. We have a flamboyant delusional never-was who thinks he just filmed a “special”, a cleaned-up club promoter named “Trouble” who’s trying to fight everyone for some reason, another comedian who got hit in the face this weekend, exclusive access to a pilot Thai Rivera tried to write a few years back, and so much more! …