Show Archive • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 26, 2023)

May 27, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and Patrick has been barraged with questions and interest for the past 24 hours regarding the lawman that came to the door and brought some papers. Spoiler alert – there won’t be any big spoilers today, so you can skip watching and make your pedicure appointment instead. Patrick talks a little about what happened and what to expect going forward. Everything will come out soon enough, and you’ll all be laughing right along with Patrick about the insane nature of a man throwing elephant poo at the wall. Patrick talks a bit more about Chad and the recent MLC drama. Vince the Lawyer has filmed a fifteen minute something with KC Armstrong revisiting his gay tendencies and going over the Howard Stern show where they brought in KC’s trans lover. It’s something. It’s definitely something. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 25, 2023)

May 27, 2023

What a week! Patrick is going to attempt to describe what’s happened in the past 24 hours, and it’s a lot. Chad Zumock appears on Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan and Bob Levy, and they have a real reckoning. Before long, Chad falls right back in to his old habits once he finds his happy place. What does this mean for the future of the MLC podcast? Let’s talk about it. Patrick gets deep with the analysis of this appearance by the Z-Man, and at the end of the show there is a very special visitor to the podcastle – an officer of the law! Oh boy! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 23, 2023)

May 24, 2023

What a weekend! Patrick is still soaking in a buttermilk bath to rinse the smoke out of his nasty bits, but it’s a new day and the show must go on! Kevin Brennan has apparently stricken Chad Zumock’s YouTube account and Florida’s self-proclaimed best comedian is on life support. Will he recover? KC Armstrong announced, amid a flurry of distracting superchats, that he is taking a week off to keep his composure. Is Ray trolling Chad? Steel Toe Morning Show’s Mooby and the Scrimp are being sued by Alex Jones or something? …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 18, 2023)

May 18, 2023

It’s a tumultuous Friday here at the Onion, and Patrick brought the stamina to endure. The chat is arguing and working Patrick up in to a frenzy today, with strong feelings about Chad Zumock, Kevin Brennan, Ray Devito, Bob Levy, Shuli Egar and more. Why does everyone hate Chad so much? Why does everyone pile on to Shuli? Is anyone even redeemable anymore? The constant polarization of popularity is hurting the Dabbleverse. Bryan Johnson (Tell Em Steve Dave) calls in to clarify some details about his appearance yesterday and the history of his relationship with Bob and Shuli. We watch an interview with CORNdiff and Chad Zumock. Steel Toe continues embarrassing themselves by begging fans to buy their overpriced and under-researched coffee. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 17, 2023)

May 18, 2023

It’s Wednesday and we’re looking forward to another fun day of complete drama and more meltdowns in the MLC universe. Ray DeVito has quickly become the superchat-magnet and lolcow of the moment. Will the rift between Kevin Brennan and Shuli continue to grow? Will Kevin continue to needle the relationship with Bob Levy? Patrick launches some new merch that you’re gonna wanna grab. We break down one of the most insane responses to being roasted that has ever been viewed by human eyeballs. This KC Armstrong fella is GOLD! Spend your Wednesday right here, sweet thang! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 16, 2023)

May 18, 2023

If you’re seeing noise, don’t adjust your sets. The aftermath of The Shuli Network and their LIVE Pottstown, PA show has left most bystanders scratching one or more body parts. What happened out there in those woods? Who is Perry Caravello and why is everyone using him? What’s the deal with Ray? Is he actually this challenged? We plow through the most insane event of the month, next to Daryl Hall’s mom’s funeral. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 12, 2023)

May 13, 2023

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 11, 2023)

May 13, 2023

Patrick is fairly ill, but is going to attempt a show. Please don’t make him raise his voice. It’s not very nice, and he hasn’t really had a voice for a day and a half. Can’t we all just get along? Apparently not. The MLC and Chad stuff is just getting sad and the superchats are drying up! Will we survive these dark times? How will we ever go on? Patrick proudly launches Steel Toe Morning Show unlicensed merch, including hoodies and t-shirts that will make you scratch hard. Patrick has a new special coming out and you get to decide if it’s good or not. Chad Zumock calls in to give us his daily thoughts. The Steel Toe Coffee launch is a self-owning we could never have dreamed of, and Aaron and April must be as dumb as dolts! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 9, 2023)

May 10, 2023

It’s a special Toe-tastic Tuesday, as Aaron Imholte aka Mooby imports his favorite internet boy crush, Geno Bisconte, in to his program for a couple hours of mutual tube tugging. Their backs are sure to be sore after this session! Kevin Brennan loses Round One of the week, suffering ignored calls and getting out-earned by Chad Zumock, his current nemesis. Bob Levy gives out all his stepdaughter’s info on Legion of Skanks, and this might just change everything. We watch the BS show where they don’t really address any of the serious stuff, but have Ray and Barry Ribs on to distract and amuse. We make Geno funnier with the Benny Hill Theme and some fabulously-timed bouncing emotes. …