lies Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1453: Headliners & Hoodwinks

January 25, 2023

The Las Vegas comedy scene is unique. Whether it’s the tendency of shows to be shorter, allowing comedians with less material to “move up” before they’re ready, or the mystique of being on stages meters away from icons and superstars, there is a level of delusion and flippant disrespect for both the art form and the process by which one becomes great. Patrick recently attended a night of programming at Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Club programmed by Adam Dominguez that was not only insanely disappointing, but indicative of several larger issues in this city. Every comedian who does fifteen minutes in a strip mall bar in Las Vegas thinks they are a headliner and have a fan base. Ever confused dummy with a day job is convinced they’re a viral video superstar …

Aftershow 1404: Josh Denny’s Alternate Reality

November 19, 2021

Talk about a blast from the past! Don’t call it a comeback! Our friend Earl Skakel finds his way in to Josh Denny’s home to do an episode of Josh’s latest podcast, Jenksterz, and they get deep in to some old shit. Josh launches in to stories about Patrick and begins to weave a quilt of malformed memories that leave even seasoned fans of Denny’s normal horseshit astounded. Josh then begins to go in to some insane story about Patrick refusing to help Tom Segura launch his podcast, and continue attacking the character of the most fair man on the podcasting planet. Watch Denny squirm in Patrick’s old kitchen while Earl sticks up for Patrick, and Denny accuses Patrick of networking and making friends in Los Angeles comedy spheres. …

NLO 1404: A Wristed Development

November 15, 2021

Patrick has been taking the week before his birthday to relax and float about in his newly installed swim spa. The bubbly warm waters flowing over a boy’s parts is rejuvenating to no end. Ask someone about it. It’s the fountain of youth for a senior citizen such as Patrick. We start the show by noting the fragility of life and taking a moment to remember another fallen comedian this week. Does anyone know what to do with a broken or busted wrist? Is there a wrist doctor or some sort of hand specialty place you can go to? Patrick wants to smoke a brisket for Thanksgiving, but thinks he needs a turkey as a backup. Also what are the must-have Thanksgiving sides right now? Josh Denny does an interview where his memory is broken. …

NLO 1394: Gossip Brunch

July 20, 2021

Patrick sits down on a Sunday to have a little hang with you, the loyal listener. Patrick gabs with the chat a bit, as there’s quite a bit going on that’s grinding his gears. Patrick is sipping on Starbucks coffee, which he had delivered. He’s aware that this is the epitome of white girl privilege, but that’s how he rolls. Brad is sick, and has cost a fortune in emergency vet bills. Her digestion isn’t running smoothly, and Patrick is worried about his white tiles and grout standing up to doggie brownie batter. Patrick is thinking about possibly attacking his swim spa salesman, who has misled and pressured him with sleazy sales tactics and is now saying it will be 9 more months before Patrick will be swimming. And of course, there’s more Thai Rivera updates than you could possibly want. We are tired of this little garbage fire, too. …

Watching the Throne – Part 3 of 3

July 14, 2021

In this third installment of Watching the Throne, the complete Thai Rivera residency controversy gets even more spin, with Thai declaring the entire weekend a success on his social media and podcast. We listen as this toy boy spins yarns about how happy the venue was with the turnout, how well the shows went, and how impressed the audience was. Unfortunately for Thai, the audio and video evidence seems to contradict his rose-colored view of the entire residency, as well as his talent. We also get a response from comedian Ralph Tutela, who was intended to be Thai’s partner for the residency, but sobered up before the debut and backed out. Not even newer comics on the Vegas scene want to be a part of the implosion of a gay madman and his career …

Watching the Throne (Part 2 of 3)

July 14, 2021

A comedic review of the latest KING of comedy in Las Vegas. This one is a great tale from the C, and so many people helped provide insight in to the story being woven for your absolute amusement and horror. In Part 2, we listen in to another show featuring comedians Thai Rivera, Angie Krum and Dante Verduzco. It’s worse than the first, if that is at all possible, and the grift is real when it comes to Thai collecting money under the guise of this being a Vegas strip-worthy show. Strap in for another long episode with more unbelievable moments throughout, including Thai asking his feature act to leave in the middle of the show. This show was originally live streamed on June 17, 2021. Thai Rivera has since attempted to strike Nobody Likes Onions’ YouTube channel with a copyright takedown notice. …

Watching the Throne (Part 1 of 3)

July 14, 2021

A comedic review of the latest KING of comedy in Las Vegas. This one is a great tale from the C, and so many people helped provide insight in to the story being woven for your absolute amusement and horror. Bring your popcorn and something sharp to slisp your wrisps. This one will be a long one, so get a babysitter and tell the wife you’ll be out late with the misses. What? Pssssh. You don’t make any sense. In Part 1 we review the lead up to this guaranteed nightmare, and watch in horror as it unfolds before our very eyes for a detailed and thorough breakdown of a man’s breakdown. Enjoy! This show was originally live streamed on June 17, 2021. …

BONUS: Thai Claps Back!

April 7, 2021

Patrick listens live to the latest collection of clipped together sass Thai calls a podcast to see what’s new in the comedy world. Or in Thai’s little corner of it. After Thai’s long week of burning bridge after bridge, Thai goes in on even more comedians, bookers, and friends. He wrestles with the idea that he has a mental illness, and later in the show begins messaging Patrick DURING THE SHOW begging him to take down the videos and asking what needs to happen to make all this analysis cease. In this special show, we listen to Thai’s latest beefs, excuses, lies and even rebuttals to Patrick’s overwhelming and constantly accumulating pile of evidence. …

NLO 1381: THAI RIVERA vs. TRIXX Full Breakdown

April 7, 2021

Joke thievery is no laughing matter! The Las Vegas comedy scene is spicy, and most of the bickering centers around everybody’s favorite drama donut, Thai Rivera, accusing Canadian comedian Trixx of joke theft – the most unforgivable of comedy crimes. Who’s lying? Who did what? Is there more to the story? Let’s listen to what Thai has to say, and hold his attempted joke theft exposure up to what we know about his past behavior. Let’s see what proof and substance Thai provides to try to ruin the reputation of a Canadian comedian he used to call “friend.” Is time running out for Thai in Las Vegas? …

Aftershow 1375: Josh Denny / Thai Rivera

February 18, 2021

Our kiwi pal Moody says the show we’re watching today would have never happened without us Onions, but who knows? On this bonus show, we watch and review the paywalled morning show that Josh Denny recently did with Thai Rivera. Josh fudges timelines and catches himself several times. Moody calls Josh very racist throughout this show. Thai admits to watching Nobody Likes Onions, and both of them pretend to not know what the other is talking about. Who produces more cringe? Find out now. …

NLO 1374: What’s Poppin’?

February 4, 2021

Patrick goes over the drama that has unfolded over the past day regarding Thai Rivera and the Savage A.F. podcast. Black Pedro blocks the NLO instagram account for no reason and refuses to answer a tweet. Patrick opens the show telling people to enlist in his new ANT army. We discuss our new sponsor and then dive in to a dissection of the Savage A.F. show, where we find out that Shang really wants you to subscribe, nobody has time for chroma keying, and so much more. …

NLO 1351: SpYdaKiLLaH

August 31, 2020

Patrick continues going over the latest and greatest video podcast from Thai Rivera, Brough to us by the guys he has fooled down at Virtual Vegas studios. While exploring Thai’s sick burns and further social policies, we begin to notice even more contradictions in his personalities. We begin to notice a lot of very oddly-timed cuts in the video and try to find out why. …

NLO 1345: Thai Fighter

August 15, 2020

It’s a new day and a new podcast from our favorite tiny Mexican comedian impersonator, Thai Rivera, has just hit the sound clouds. We kick off the show with technical difficulties as usual. Patrick has a new iMac and couldn’t be more elated. Thai is back with some big proclamations and announcements. But mostly it just has contradiction after contradiction, rambling story after incoherent babbling, and a lot of weird mouth noises. …