Page 47 • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1356: For Heaven’s Sake

September 24, 2020

Patrick is excited about the possibility of pivoting to a gamers only podcast. We are proud to announce that we are the only podcast with GeForce RTX graphics. That can’t be, can it? People need to stop worrying about Patrick being poor. It’s all going to work out. We check in on some of the latest insane rants and exclamations from our favorite tinyman, Thai Rivera. Trez Mala watches grass grow. Daddy Derek is nuttier than ever and we have the videos to prove it. …

NLO 1355: Remembering Joe

September 17, 2020

It's been years since anyone has really thought about Crazy Joe, so some people may not really be familiar with this mad man. Crazy Joe is a wannabe radio personality in the Hudson Valley just north of NYC. He's been trying to get his radio show/podcast going for about 6 years, but keeps running in to technical problems. He also keeps fighting against anyone who ever tries to help him because of his degraded mental capacity.

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NLO 1354: It’s Electric!

September 17, 2020

Patrick has been busy but that’s not going to stop him from bitching about everything under the sun. SUBtember is here at Twitch so that seems very to tell people about continuously. We reveal that we have a very capable doxxer in our midst. Patrick has lost everything in the stock market and wants your sympathy. We look in to other electric car manufacturers besides Tesla. …

Aftershow 1353 (Part 1)

September 9, 2020

Patrick is hanging out for an eight-hour mega-broadcast. Superfan Moody quickly curbs any instinct Patrick has to venture back to Thai Rivera coverage. We take a wonderful detour into the life of Michael Ray Bower, aka Donkey Lips from a show in the 90's called Salute Your Shorts. It's from a thing called Nickelodeon. Before the internet. Anyway, the dude is like borderline homeless now and he's cooking tacos in his fucking toilet. We wish this wasn't true.

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Aftershow 1353 (Part 2)

September 9, 2020

Patrick wraps up a full broadcast day with an old faithful well of comedy, however unintentional. We go through Thai Rivera's latest two YouTube videos, which are much shorter and more digestible that some of his more recent hour-long drug-fueled forgetful rants. This doesn't mean it's any easier to sit through, but we manage.

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NLO 1353: Malaween

September 8, 2020

Patrick is back as promised to continue trying to explore other options in the Onionsphere. Patrick has used three cans of hairspray to both illustrate how long it’s been since he’s had any kind of professional grooming, and to make fun of how Trez Mala composes his “look” on the daily. Patrick begins to try to fix some of the audio sync issues, but this turns out to be a fatal downfall in this show. …

NLO 1352: Gone In 267 Milliseconds

September 4, 2020

This show is an attempt to make everyone happy. We are taking a break from the latest trend of T2 tirades. So much in this show! Patrick talks too much about graphics cards. The final solution for low-carb pizza cravings is revealed. We teach an old fan some new tricks. Patrick tries to give people investment advice, but he has no idea what he’s talking about. Plus listener supplied topics! …

Aftershow 1351: Cooking with Kay

September 3, 2020

After such a large helping of Thai, we cleanse our palette with some British flavors. Or should we say lack of flavor. Moody, who never has a shortcoming of idiots in his back pocket, presents Patrick with Kay. Kay is a saucy woman from Sheffield, England who has decided she needs to grace YouTube with her cooking skills.

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NLO 1351: SpYdaKiLLaH

August 31, 2020

Patrick continues going over the latest and greatest video podcast from Thai Rivera, Brough to us by the guys he has fooled down at Virtual Vegas studios. While exploring Thai’s sick burns and further social policies, we begin to notice even more contradictions in his personalities. We begin to notice a lot of very oddly-timed cuts in the video and try to find out why. …

NLO 1350: What’s the Bit?

August 30, 2020

Patrick is taking it upon himself to make this episode be the one that really humanizes himself to you all. Before moving on to everything he thinks is wrong with everyone else, he wants to reveal something very personal and embarrassing, This confession leads to a startling observation by the chat. Patrick discusses Elon Musk’s brain fuckery company, Neuralink. …

PM in the AM – August 21, 2020

August 26, 2020

Another day and we have fired up YouTube to watch a very weird video uploaded by our pal Thai Rivera. Thai has partnered with some local Vegas studio, in what we can only imagine involved a series of false promises and lies. Can you imagine inviting Thai to come "create content" where your children sleep? We tour the studio and see everything it has to offer

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Comedy Crash: Zoom Improv!

August 26, 2020

Patrick fires up Zoom and hunts around for a comedy show to watch online with the Twitch audience. We find some over-the-hill improv troupe in the middle of Kansas, or Missouri, or somewhere like that. Not only is it some of the worst improv ever, but they're making it musical. We watch as Steve Curran invades their meeting, and then Patrick fires off an opportune Kevin Meaney I Don't Care attack. It's bad, but not as bad as it would have been if we we're involved.

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NLO 1349: F.E.A.R.

August 26, 2020

Patrick is spiraling hard and there is no telling where this show is headed from right out of the gate. The entire weekend was filled with updates for the studio, including cabling, graphics cards, memory, accessories, lighting, etc. We explore a t-shirt company run by the right-wing nut butter known as Trez Mala, full off designs and slogans that will make your trachea ache. Patrick is sick and tired of being sick and tired …

NLO 1348: Thai Polar

August 22, 2020

It’s a new dawn and that means a bunch of new things that will probably just make us a combination of depressed and anxious, with a side of outrage. Patrick is going off on ANOTHER Las Vegas comedian that popped up in his feed on Facebook this morning. This time it’s a grown man with some ideas about the government tracking us with our phones. We also go over some older videos from Thai Rivera, since he’s been laying kind of low this week. …

NLO 1347: Trez’ Company

August 18, 2020

The Trez Mala deep dive continues, and this well goes deep. Or should we say this dam is high? Either way, strap in as we explore Trez' YouTube and social media to discover just what gives this guy his comedy edge. We learn how to cook eggs on a grill, how eating old pork with mac and cheese in a deep fried tortilla won't kill you instantly, and you don't need six views on a YouTube video to make you a star.

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NLO 1346: Bad3

August 18, 2020

The gay giving tree that is Thai Rivera has birthed us a new comedian jester to keep our eyes on, Trez Mala. Patrick took years of Spanish in high school. so he’s pretty sure that means “bad three.” Or something close. In the first installment of two, we listen to Trez talk about himself and his comedy roots and philosophy on some other gas weasel’s podcast. If you’ve never heard of the MoonBug Glip Glop podcast, strap in …

NLO 1345: Thai Fighter

August 15, 2020

It’s a new day and a new podcast from our favorite tiny Mexican comedian impersonator, Thai Rivera, has just hit the sound clouds. We kick off the show with technical difficulties as usual. Patrick has a new iMac and couldn’t be more elated. Thai is back with some big proclamations and announcements. But mostly it just has contradiction after contradiction, rambling story after incoherent babbling, and a lot of weird mouth noises. …

NLO 1344: Thai-fecta!

August 14, 2020

Patrick continues Thai-rlessly going over the minutia of an insane narcissist while he tells some amazing tales. We have all the hot thai’kes you can handle, and plenty of puns to boot. Thai tells an amazing story about his shitty car needing an air conditioner repair in the middle of the desert summer. We further diagnose Thai Rivera’s inability to tell a story with any effectiveness. Not that we mind, as it leads to some hilarious insights about how Thai sees himself and other people. …