Patrick has been troubled lately. Spirits. Ghouls. Ghosts. Geists. Goblins. A boy has been walking around Patrick’s house, taunting him with hisses in the night and scurrying from room to room. We dive in to Google and find out it could be a boy named David. We check in on Crazy Joe, because it’s been so long since we met a mad man. Patrick bitches about updates with his house. …
Patrick gathers all the people from around the internet who want to escape from their families in to one chat room to guilt eat and cry. Patrick is getting close to signing on his new house, and has stories about HOAs for days, but the chat doesn’t seem impressed. Patrick drinking always ends up leading to some really dark ideas. Does anyone wanna do some cool YouTube channel stuff as a prank? …
Patrick is sick once again and is paranoid about the coronavirus again. The studio is about to be wrecked as Patrick’s landlord finally agreed to install some auxiliary air conditioners. He’s also waiting for the last hurdle of his home-buying adventure by trying to get some documents from the Homeowner’s Association. All the old cables and equipment must go! We’re going to be all powered by Unifi now. Patrick has a real beef with Hubble contact lenses. …
It’s Patrick’s birthday, and although he appreciates the love and gifts from those who have gathered. Enough is enough. Some people don’t understand what gifts are good, and what gifts are chores. Amazon gift cards or cash, please. None of this other feel-good horseshit. Patrick ordered a new iPhone 12 Pro that should be delivered today, but UPS is fucking it up royally. …
Join Patrick in watching the Apple Silicon Mac launch event live. We join Tim Apple from Cupertino, Mexico while he launches the latest Macs using Apple's brand new silicon processor thingys. It's all very fancy and everything is shimmering brightly. The computers are fast and boy are you gonna want at least three of them. Chips!
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It's the morning after the election and we all feel like we slept with someone last night but can't remember who it was. We try to make sense of all the news and spin, but nobody really knows anything except that everything keeps changing. Patrick gets in to conspiracies and cults, and we look back at Heaven's Gate, a cult from the 1990's that really liked sneakers. We take a look at some of the latest nonsense from Thai Rivera.
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Patrick is balls deep in the house buying process, and the stress is beginning to take it’s toll. He’s intimidated by the prospect of taking on the project of installing a pool in his back yard, and he feels pressured by Big Pool. Costco has a lot to answer for when it comes to how he was treated recently at the optical center. Along with being ignored at the service counter, he’s sick of being stalked like a D-level celebrity by cashiers. …
We are wrapping up a long night of election coverage by watching a bunch of newscasters try to make sense of sweeping Donald Trump leads across the country. No one will call anything and every channel we turn to is trying to rationalize the numbers. Riots are continuing in some cities, but for the most part America has chosen to go to bed and settle all this in the coming days.
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Patrick continues his exclusive brand of irreverent election coverage with the renewed zest of a man who has recently returned from the toilet. In this FOUR HOUR block, we begin to see Donald Trump surge in some key states to the chagrin of most newscasters. Biden starts to lead in the popular vote, but who cares. Ohio, Florida, Georgia. Everything looks to be coming up Trump!
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Patrick straps in for a long day and night of uncertainty and civil unrest. Armed only with weed and a limited knowledge of how the election process works on the whole, and joined by a band of savagely uninformed voters, Patrick tries to make the most of the situation at hand with a retrospective, predictions and more. …
It's the morning after Halloween and Patrick is pissed that he bought a lot of candy for nothing. He's really getting in to Karen videos and what the kids are calling BASIC now. Patrick is buying a basic house. Patrick has a lot of problems with Twitch and how they do things. Stop getting your friends to help you move. Patrick is getting really jazzed up about his pool project.
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We watch some videos of the most recent shooting in Philadelphia. We don't apologize for anyone getting triggered around here. Fans scare Patrick in to taking his bow off and respecting Twitch rules about graphic content. We check in on Thai Rivera, Simply Sara, Trump has some weird ads about zombies and the apocalypse, and Moody introduces Cooking with Hoarders.
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Welcome to morning hot talk with the bow boys. Patrick welcomes you to Gum Club and talks about how all the gum comes from like two companies, collectively known as Big Gum. Gum Club is sponsored by Brandie’s Bows and Cheryl’s Barrels. These shows were recorded before the election, so the amount of foreplay in the air between two old men is salty and thick. Jack in the Box is gross, bows and so much more more. …
Patrick is kicking off his day with coffee and an apology to Breonna Taylor. Patrick’s latest foray in to trying to buy a house has failed again due to a poor inspection that revealed a million problems. He quickly recovers though, by making another offer on a new house, but not without it’s compromises. He’s decided to go full basic bitch, purchases a magazine-like home stamped out in a planned community. …
Patrick is back from doing shows on the road and is back to hunting for a house. It’s not been going well, but he has an offer in on a new place that is pretty sweet, but it’s missing that sweet natural gas he craves. Patrick is traumatized by the left and baffled by the right, and he doesn’t even know what’s real anymore. He is officially undecided for the upcoming presidential election, and the media spin isn’t making it any easier. …
Patrick sits down with everyones favorite wannabe city councilperson, comedian, and grumpy geriatric Landry Miller. Landry was good enough to put aside his general disdain for people long enough to sit down with Patrick to talk about doing comedy in pandemic times, this recent alcoholism. We also talk about adult babies, free donuts, camp stories, pandemic comedy and the ugliest care ever. …
Patrick has just finished up a week of work in Tulsa and sits down with comedian Scott Schaffer to bitch about these kids today. Progressing in to straight-up "get off my lawn" territory, the two discuss the state of comedy and the world by basically bitching about people who can't stop bitching. Anyone who posts on social media might be absolutely mentally ill, and blocking people is most definitely a sign of narcissistic dementia.
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Patrick is joined by Roy Johnson in an on-location show from Tulsa, Oklahoma after finishing a week of shows. Patrick hasn’t been on stage in over six months, and is also paralyzed by a crippling fear of COVID-19. Roy recaps the weekend and pontificates to the dismay of the chat room while Patrick takes a very important phone call. Patrick has been house shopping, and the inspector calls to tell him some horrible news. …
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