kitty pineapple Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

October 17, 2023 – STEEL TOE Has a GROSS Penis! Derek Savage Wants You ARMED! Training Tuesday!

October 17, 2023

Leave the Dabbleverse behind and join Patrick on a magical carpet ride, touring nuts from far and wide and allowing you to forget the same old rehashed nonsense. Patrick thinks the Derek Savage ATM robbery story is worth a revisit, and you most definitely will as well. Kitty Pineapple was the biggest up and coming star nine months ago, and then Patrick pointed out she wasn’t. How’s it been going since? Steel Toe and his woman have a lot of opinions about yeast and want to expose you to some chunks. We’re starting a new segment today in response to the overwhelming joy created by the recent Waffle House training video. You’re going to LOVE the way you look! …

NLO 1461: Kevin Don’t Sell Tickets!

April 8, 2023

Patrick has a problem with several men on the internet and wants to talk to you about it. Recently, the brother of one comedian and the son of another have been leveling threats at Patrick. Whatever needs to be said shall be said tonight. Kevin Brennan is mad and Patrick isn’t going to stand for it. After a recent show, Intenret rabblerouser Bexks has clipped a piece of a show where Patrick was talking about not inviting Kevin to the Vegas meetup. Apparently Kevin got wind of it and went on a verbal rant about it on the latest MLC. Thai Rivera is having a bad time in Austin and this time is almost cost him everything. …

NLO 1459: No Bribes Please

March 9, 2023

Patrick tries to report on the normal topics and operations as the battle between Steel Toe Morning Show and comedian Chad Zumock begin to heat up. Moody has whipped up some new AI voice tools for the chat, but they work about as well as everything else around here. Jimmy Kimmel’s comedy club here in Vegas admits to booking just anyone and not vetting the people on it’s stage whatsoever. Edwin San Juan, local headliner and shy man, begins to slowly break free of his shackles of silence and correct the wrongs he sees in the Las Vegas comedy scene. Kitty Pineapple is bad for Filipino comedians. Komedian Wayne seems like a giant dope. A brief history of Laugh After Dark versus Notoriety Live. …

NLO 1454: Kitty Can’t Cope

February 6, 2023

Despite Patrick ignoring Kitty’s repeated DMs, and not even mentioning her in almost two weeks, he can’t help himself by posting continual content desperately trying to convince everyone that he’s ok and not bothered at all by the recent revelations of his truth. Sound familiar? Wait until you see what Kitty David Kawika reveals in this show! It’s abuse on a whole new level! The depresh is real and you need to knock it off. Patrick smoked a turkey like a king. Thai Rivera is posting some insane new stuff as well. The Las Vegas comedy scene has more delusions leaking from every squirrelly bar hosting a comedy night. Adam Dominguez promises you quality merch, and that’s how Patrick instantly knew it wasn’t. The Wayans brothers have a new scam …

NLO 1453: Headliners & Hoodwinks

January 25, 2023

The Las Vegas comedy scene is unique. Whether it’s the tendency of shows to be shorter, allowing comedians with less material to “move up” before they’re ready, or the mystique of being on stages meters away from icons and superstars, there is a level of delusion and flippant disrespect for both the art form and the process by which one becomes great. Patrick recently attended a night of programming at Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Club programmed by Adam Dominguez that was not only insanely disappointing, but indicative of several larger issues in this city. Every comedian who does fifteen minutes in a strip mall bar in Las Vegas thinks they are a headliner and have a fan base. Ever confused dummy with a day job is convinced they’re a viral video superstar …

NLO 1452: Black Guilt

January 25, 2023

Kitty Pineapple can’t stop messaging Patrick and she really needs to decide if she’ sorry or tough. Casper and David “Holy Shhh” Hulett are struggling with their open mic, and instead of money you can now win noodles for the best set. Summer Sinclair thinks she can sing and needs to be dragged behind a car immediately. Comedians think goin viral is a credit but their social media accounts can never back it up. The Comedy Store experiences more drama as Patrick gets word of a physical fight between Sam Tripoli and girl band Machine Gun Kelly. Stupid people love to talk with their fists. The Golden Globes trot out their new host Jerrod Carmichael and it goes bad very fast. Watch a talented comic have a mental breakdown about race and being a victim. …

NLO 1451: 9th Island Naive

January 18, 2023

Patrick has received a threat from Kitty Pineapple and it is not good. Could Patrick be on the verge of being cancelled? You decide! Nah but seriously, David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple aka Island 9 Fit Guy tried to blackmail Patrick, and it did not work in the most spectacular way. Why do Kitty Pineapple’s threats carry no weight? Why can’t she seem to focus on what she is actually upset about? Has this mediocre nobody confused herself so badly with someone who is successful that she thinks she has the power to “ruin” other comics? The delusion is strong with this one. We wish Penny Prince a happy birthday and try to focus on some of the positives of the Las Vegas comedy community. Lex Las Vegas is mad about something, but he’s so emotional and broken we can’t really tell what. …

NLO 1450: Bummer Sinclair

January 18, 2023

Patrick addresses some misunderstandings and makes some apologies for his past aggressions. Lex Las Vegas and Leah Menudo don’t deserve to be treated like common crooks. Kitty Pineapple is still just a gimmicky joke. Patrick has some tips for smoking meats. William Strange is a broken-brained, weak sourpuss of a man who uses being a victim to gain sympathy when it’s convenient while acting like a complete psychopath himself. Summer Sinclair raised her hand recently in a Facebook thread that was asking for female headliners, and no one deserves it less. This chick is closer to Andy Kaufman than any trans Dole whip out here in these streets. Patrick offers some advice to comedians who think that lying to themselves and others in a healthy look. …

NLO 1449: Gritty Pineapple

January 16, 2023

We hope you’re full of Christmas goose, or suckling pig, or tofurkey and whatnot, because Patrick has restocked the whiskey barrel and charged up his FPV drone for a fantastical flight of fury. This show is about heading in to 2023 with a healthy perception of reality. For instance, is Casper actually a decent comic? Does filming a two minute video do anything to drive your enemies crazy? Is David Lee actually Kitty Pineapple? There’s so many things to talk about in this show, and at times it gets a bit tense, but stay grounded, kids. It’s not about who the next Andy Kaufman is. It’s not about whether you get recognized everywhere you go. It’s about whether you sound mentally ill when you say things, and Patrick is the king! …

NLO 1448: Lax Las Vegas

January 11, 2023

Patrick gets an anonymous angry email regarding several people on the Las Vegas comedy scene! We have so many new rabbit holes to go down! We talk about comedian David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple and try to figure out what’s going on with that situation. Lex Las Vegas loves everyone in town, but we aren’t sure that’s a great thing. A pregnant open mic comic named Caitlyn Daisy B is being roasted in a smoky bar, because she’s an absolute killer comic and a legend on the Vegas scene. Jkjk it’s a garbage fire that won’t light because it’s soaked in amniotic fluid. Skippy Sprinkles is not good or funny, and it’s getting sad. Honesty is dead amongst comedians. …