Show Archive • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

December 29, 2023: DONKEYLIPS Says EVERYTHING is PERFECT! Plus: ATLANTIC CITY Showdown?

December 29, 2023

It’s Friday, and rather than continuing our bottomless dive in to the dabble verse, let’s finish the year on some lighter, more fun fool fare. Michael Ray Bower, aka the trumpet tubby from Nickelodeon’s salute your shorts that goes by the name of Donkeylips, has some holiday messages to make even the most depressed saps perk up. Try to pull up the straps of your overalls and get through this with us, ok? It’s been a stressful year, with ups and downs, but right around the corner lies a new beginning and a fresh start. Or tons more of the same over and over again. Who knows what the future holds?
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December 28, 2023: Chad Zumock’s DESPERATE Show! Geno & Kiki CAVE! Kevin Is SCARED? WHOA!

December 28, 2023

The new year has the miseryverse in a spiral, and everyone seems to have forgotten their characters and lines! But too much snow and indoor light can make anyone nutty enough to forget their place. Kevin Brennan is completely off his rocker and cannot be helped. Chad Zumock has so much to prove to nobodies of people that he has booked one of his “cucks” to do his sad Atlantic City spitefest. How many tickets will sell to this garbage fire in the armpit of AC? Bob Levy has Kevin Brennan scared. Geno Bisconte and his girl are down to make a cool $200. Ray Devito stands his ground and rejects Chad’s show offers, but does anyone’s word mean anything anymore? Spoiler alert! NO! …

December 24, 2023: THE EVENING: It’s About To Get EVEN More EVEN!

December 24, 2023

Won’t you poor some scrimpnog and join Patrick and a cast of merry elves as they bring cheer and karma to those who deserve it? ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through YouTube, not a lolcow was streaming, not Mershy or Moob. Not Hudson, not Mudshark, not Devito’s dumb charm, and no one was discussing Kate Meaney’s fat arm. But what are the children and lost souls to do? Scream thrice for Uncle Melty, and dreams will come true. Come bong hits and coughing and a menacing grin! It’s time for Nobody Likes Onions…ogain! …

December 22, 2023: Did Chad PRANK Patrick? Kate Meaney Shows Off! Ray Loses ANOTHER Dad!

December 22, 2023

Kevin Brennan has kicked Ray to the curb, after making him quit the Shuli Network and his own stream out of loyalty. Will Ray ever realize the toxic push and pull of Kevin is wreaking havoc on his joints! Chad Zumock panics like a fool again when Patrick reveals another traitor in his midst. Get the full behind-the-scenes breakdown of events on today’s show. Kate Meaney keeps on doing podcasts, and may even be launching her own project very soon. Don’t believe it? Hear it from her own mouth as she sits down with Ray for a dull-off the likes of which you’ve never seen! Hit the like button and wish yourself a merry little Christmas! …

December 21, 2023: STEEL TOE SWINGING! Ray & Kate Demo Their Talent! Kevin Brennan The Hypocrite!

December 21, 2023

We’re wrapping up the week, but it doesn’t feel like the week is done with us. Kevin Brennan seems to be upset with the idiots he’s surrounded himself with, but he can’t stop protecting his farm of fools and lashing out at rational people, making him look insane in the process. Aaron and April Imholte are almost certainly swingers, and Patrick has some compelling thoughts on how their arrangement must work. Ray Devito has no idea what his podcast even is, and just to prove it he booked Kate Meaney to come on. Watch as both Ray and Kate try to figure out why Kate is even making appearances, and stroll down a basic bitch back-alley of memberberries. Hope you like NOTHING and heaps of it! …

December 19, 2023: Helping The OLD! Corey Feldman’s New Funko! Redneck Recipes & More!

December 19, 2023

It’s Tuesday, and it’s been so long since the audience of this show has been trained properly. Today we learn how to give some well-earned service to the most elderly amongst us. Chad Zumock is spiraling and Atlantic City will be great. We’ve got some new characters to check out, and those characters want to share some culinary knowledge. Hope you like tater tots and beans! Corey Feldman has some new toys he wants to show off, and he dressed all weird and brought his creep energy to the party to tell you about it. Joey C plans his domination of the AM radio market. …

December 18, 2023: NOBODY Likes CHAD ZUMOCK! DonkeyLips Can’t Walk! Steel Toe Numbers Are DOWN!

December 18, 2023

Patrick’s schedule is ALL WONKY for the next week or so, and you’ll just have to deal with it. The internet is a fickle mistress, and her shows are not relegated to your temporal bounding boxes, human. The Lou and KY morning show is the shining beacon of the Joey C universe. Lou looks like his teeth got in a fight and had to be seperated. Did we mention he’s dumber than potting soil? Patrick revisits Haley Sacks, a guest from NYC who had a showing so bad, she couldn’t even bear to be in the same room with Patrick ever again. Steel Toe suffers another insane defeat at the offering plate, and April comes down to give Aaron a sloppy consolation kiss before heading off to her night shift at Arby’s. Save some horsey sauce for us, Ape! …

CHAD ZUMOCK: Drunk Comedy LOLCOW Can’t Stop Drinking & Sucking!

December 16, 2023

Ding dong! It’s Saturday night and the mood is right! Come on down to watch the latest edition of Chad Zumock, alcoholic fail whale, completely embarrass himself for about thirty dollars. The worst part is the helpless little pig can’t keep himself sober enough to do his own gig! Drink up, piggy! Atlantic City is in two months and reality awaits you at the Borgata! Come find out how many fans are on your side, oink boy! The difference between this fantasy world where Chad has fans and the stark reality of Chad trying to act popular in person is going to be a sight to behold. …

December 15, 2023 PART 2: Let’s Get It Poppin Fresh! The After-MLC Breakdown!

December 15, 2023

Many hours have passed and the landscape has changed. Chad Zumock and Kate Meaney have been emboldened by the recent backlash of Kevin Brennan on Patrick. After gushing for weeks and calling him the sheriff of the dabbleverse, the worm has turned and Patrick is seemingly on the outs with the pink hot dog man. But Kevin doesn’t need Patrick. He has Ray, and Kate Meaney, and let’s not forget his number one son, Chad Zumock. Kevin says Patrick shouldn’t come to Atlantic City, but how could the Big Onion miss this party? It’s on in Atlantic City baby! Let’s wrap up the week and try to smooth things over on this second installment of the Friday Onion program. Kick back and relax with Melton and the kids! There’s no reason to be upset. This has all been a big misunderstanding! …