Show Archive • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1431: Laugh After Dark EXPOSED!

September 7, 2022

Sorry for the clickbait title! Patrick talks about receiving an offer to do a comedy “special” for the fine folks at Laugh After Dark. His self-esteem is not at a peak, and he thinks the idea of doing a comedy special in this climate is crazy, as well as his complete inadequacy when it comes to quality and quantity of comedic talent. Rob, one of the producers of Laugh After Dark, joins the chat because apparently someone has tipped him off about the discussion. Patrick runs a bunch of insane requirements and ideas by Rob, who seems more amused by some than others. Two things are clear – there will be a standing ovation and there will be a performance by the UNLV drumlins. …

NLO 1430: My Niece in Florida

August 25, 2022

Patrick doesn’t feel like doing a show, but you mean so much to him, he’s gonna do it – probably. Patrick is frantically preparing travel plans to get on the road and do some shows this summer abroad. Thai Rivera may be done streaming his open mic, as he continues to send his baby birds, aka open mic mid-wits, to do his bidding online and beyond. Comics need to stop saying they kill all the time. Somehow Patrick gets lured in to discussing all the pressing hot topics of the day again, and we are mostly talking about the ending of the tiny ones. Patrick invents a new character, Neil DeGrasses Diceman. Patrick learns he doesn’t even know what he’s wrong about. …

NLO 1429: Next Eek Tonight

August 16, 2022

Patrick may have an emergency on his hand, but he isn’t sure there is anyone to call about it. A man has been sleeping in a car outside Patrick’s house for almost six hours, completely passed out in the driver’s seat with the vehicle running. Is it a stalker? A fan? Just a completely random nut looking to get away from his nagging wife? Butch Bradley is making social media posts for free hair gel. Patrick talks about heading over to Edinburgh in August. Patrick tries to rap again, but Moody in the chat curses his ability to steer clear of homosexual themes. We explore Josh Denny’s relationship with Gavin McInnes and the Censored.tv crew. They’ve announced some live shows, including one in Las Vegas. …

BONUS: THEFT On The Vegas Comedy Scene!?

August 10, 2022

Come along and ride on my fantastic voyage! Make money for you and your family from the comfort of your own basement! Operators are standing by to take your livelihood! Call from a landline for best results! No dogs allowed! Our old crippled comic friend Thai Rivera has dropped a new video claiming his old partner and friend AJ Rivera has been stealing money from him. With no friends, no money, and no prospects, where will Thai go next? The latest edition of the Ocha Bar Open Mic melts down in to complete dysfunction live before our eyes. Thai harasses and performs what seems to be light inappropriate behavior on a first-time young comedian. …

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August 4, 2022

Patrick and a cast of kangaroo pals explore the Australian outback together in an old jeep. Trouble is right around the corner when the gang encounters a dingo in the bush! Patrick enjoys a chill Thursday watching some of the best of Las Vegas doing their thing. We check in with the Ocha Bar open mic, but it’s not going great. The “feature” comic can’t stop pacing all over the room and screaming. The internet saves us all and cuts out several times. Patrick tries to learn how to talk to legit Mexicans. We check in on the state of modern Zoom comedy and try to figure out what the attraction is. Patrick does a lot of impressions that probably aren’t very woke and may end up getting him cancelled. …

NLO 1428: Deviled Eggs & Sour Ginger

August 2, 2022

It’s Sunday Funday, and who knows what that could mean for the merry band of onions! Patrick tries to have an intervention with Big Irish Jay regarding the merchandise he sells after show. Jay thinks it’s cool to recycle an old Coke logo, but Patrick disagrees. Then again, Jay is still a working comedian, so what does Patrick know. Patrick talks about food in the 1970’s, including deviled eggs and why people loved them. Eggs and mayo not your thing? Maybe you’d like the cool relief of some ambrosia salad – apples, nuts, cool whip and coconut! Can’t you feel it all getting stuck in your teeth as we speak? We find out just how many beans Patrick can name while he discusses his poor childhood. …

NLO 1427: Denial Double Down

July 27, 2022

There’s so many updates from so many creeps! Thai is spinning out of control. His YouTube is suspicious and Patrick can’t figure out exactly what’s going down. Thai threatens to do a tell-all about AJ Rivera and his most recently terminated friendship. A new comedy contest scam has Las Vegas comedians excited about the prospect of winning something meaningless. Josh Denny is on a real grown-up big-boy tour! Josh texted Patrick telling him that he’s got it all wrong, and maybe he was right! We revisit some of Josh’s biggest successes. Trouble in Vegas has been quietly posting L’s for months. Angie Krum is deeper than we ever knew. AOC is a super-emotionally reactive nut. …

BONUS – Oodles of Noodles!

July 26, 2022

Something about a pecan-topping on an ice cream cake or something. Probably don’t watch, I’d say. Jkjk this is a bonus show from one of our Sunday Funday shows, usually an OVERDOSE exclusive. Patrick is full from eating at a Taiwanese restaurant, and he’s got soy sauce and noodles spilling out of his pores. There is no plan, so this show ends up being a meandering journey through the forest of YouTube fun nuggets. We watch a cooking video from Michael Ray Bower to try to get back in to a healthy frame of mind. Stay tuned for a bonus recipe featuring salmonella. We check out Twitch for the first time in forever, and the freaks over there are more niche than ever. …

NLO 1426: Krumplaint Department

July 13, 2022

It’s Sunday and that means it’s time to gather around a campfire and roast the toes of our rivals over the flames of our most deep desires. Patrick hears multiple reports about Angie Krum and how she can’t stop talking about Patrick to people around town. Patrick doubles down on his position on Angie, and asks if she’d like to clarify anything. Patrick talks about attending Wiseguys open mic last week, where Thai Rivera may or may not have been making eyes at Patrick across the room. We take a look at comedian Danny Bevins on Facebook for a glimpse at a grown man who is unraveling publicly with every passing day. Unfortunately, this sickness is spreading. Learn how to process your emotions …