NLO Shows

NLO 1447: Forgetting Sara Schaefer

January 1, 2023

We talk about the fallout of the latest show about Butch Bradley and his misbehaving. The Sword and Scale podcast needs to be investigated. Lex Las Vegas and Trouble in Vegas are taking over this town! Casper quits YouTube in embarrassment. Patrick thinks people should stop being nice to everyone. Remember Sara Schaefer, the dead weight Nikki Glazer tried to carry around for a couple years? Patrick reminds viewers that before her big MTV break, Sara Schaefer thought she deserved to be a full-time comic, despite the lack of talent. She quit her job and begged for money in exchange for potholders she knit in her tiny Brooklyn bird box. We walk through what Sara has been up to since, and it’s mostly breakdowns and editing punchlines out of her own stories. …

Aftershow Video

Aftershow 1446: A Donkey Lips Christmas

December 27, 2022

Remember the show Salute Your Shorts on Nickelodeon in the 1990s? Of course you do, you little rapscallion. Donkeylips, aka Michael Ray Bower, has been an actor his whole life. But a few years ago his parents passed away, he ran out of money, and moved in to the saddest apartment in Hollywood and started cooking tacos in his own toilet. This latest update from Camp Anawanna's favorite fat fuck is even sadder than the ones before it. Pour some egg nog, maybe fry up some toilet tacos or another disgusting snack, and sit back and listen as Michael Ray Bower tells us why things have been so hard for him for the past few years. God speed, little friend!


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NLO Shows

NLO 1446: Tip Me, Daddy!

December 27, 2022

Patrick is here on a Friday night, and the drinks and opinions are flowing. On this show, Patrick explores Donald Trump’s latest scam – collectible NFT trading cards, featuring some of the sickest Trump memes out there. What is he doing with this money? Who are the idiots advising our leaders? Elon Musk becomes more and more unhinged as he lets his personal emotions dictate policy at Twitter, sometimes with very little notice to users. Is someone after him? Doesn’t he have other companies to run? The White House is probably lying. Wild Fork Foods sends Patrick a very special gift package. Women are confused about who they are and how they are supposed to behave ad relate to men on dates. …

Featured Videos

FREE BONUS: Thai Rivera RUNS AWAY To Austin!

December 19, 2022

Grrrl can you believe it? Our favorite little Asian girl, Thai Rivera, has run off to Austin, Texas, exactly as predicted by Patrick over one year ago. She is nothing if not super basic! We watch Thai explain in his normal exhausting way the basics of moving as only he can. Poor Bijou! Patrick has new predictions that you're going to want to bet on down at your local sportsatorium. Will Thai find the friendships, respect and popularity he is looking for in Austin? Or will he be spit out the bottom of the open mic scene just as he has in Phoenix twice, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas? Will he be banned from the clubs there like he is here? Will his "friends" like Tim Dillon and Tony Hinchcliffe put up with his ignorant gay sass in their town?


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Featured Videos

BONUS: Getting Weird and Looping

December 17, 2022

Patrick has a looper and it's Friday night, so why not get together and see what happens about it? Thanks so much for making NLO a part of your being! Some guy tries to get Patrick into a crypto scam called VECHAIN! Patrick has some vodka for a change. A troll throws money at the show and claims victory! We talk about the Established Titles scam with a real scotsman. We get in to how insane Kanye West is, and someone in the chat brings up a video that Kanye was in about Joe Rogan and mechanical bees. I'm not sure what's edited and what's real, but one thing is for sure - Kanye is bananas on a level we can't begin to comprehend.


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NLO Shows

NLO 1445: Bitchin’ About Butch

December 16, 2022

Patrick is sauced up and dives in to the always-entertaining world of comedian Butch Bradley, detailing his bad behavior over the years, including his attempt to slander, libel, and fail to pay Patrick for services rendered. Who is this INSANE and UNHINGED comic, where did he come from before the Las Vegas scene, and why is here here? Patrick talks about his LA Comedy Club residency, his questionable treatment of friends and loved ones, and the facade and uncomfortable vibes that make up the world of Butch Bradley – the FUNNIEST comedian in Las Vegas! Don’t you agree? 😂 …

NLO Shows

NLO 1444: Kill Carlson (aka Jill Tony)

December 16, 2022

Everyone is living in their own insane little bubble and Nobody Likes Onions is here to cover it all! On this show, Patrick roasts comedian Trixx for his woke virtue-signalling, Big Irish Jay for his towel usage, and Lindsay Glazer for a WHOLE LOT of reasons we can’t even begin to describe. We breakdown the Jill Carlson appearance on Kill Tony at Skankfest Las Vegas in a fair and measured manner. Rokfin needs someone to guide them to success. Patrick talks about a lot of people cryptically to avoid virtual eye contact. Men in our society are acting bonkerz. Cool Cat has a new project and is looking for people to join in. Did we mention Lindsay Glazer may be a loon? …

Featured Videos

Melton in the Morning (Nov. 3, 2022)

December 6, 2022

The midterms are next week and the state of this country is truly depressing. Our choices are limited and our fundamentals are flawed. Patrick spend the majority of the show discussing the broken system and rampant denial of reality that seems to be affecting everyone in America in modern times. Kanye West fans have decided to raise money on crowdfunding platform GoFundMe for the rapper to return him to billionaire status. The fundraiser has been removed but that hasn't stop the narcissism greed train from continuing on the platform. Affirmative action may be the one thing we all fundamentally agree about but will never vote together on. Hot cookies don't come easy.


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Featured Videos

Melton in the Morning (Nov. 1, 2022

December 6, 2022

Patrick does a quick introduction for Rokfin people, and explains that this show will be improving slowly. A transgender woman buys the Miss Universe pageant. Costco is selling a 60,000 piece puzzle. Hollywood is being overrun by the homeless and no one seems to care. The grossest man ever is dead, possibly from trying to be clean. People are snapping at parties and shooting people. Why can't people just have wild conspiracies and believe nonsense anymore? The Paul Pelosi thing has some weird details and there's something amiss. Kanye West is pouring money in to something called the Ecosystem. Kindness is overrated.


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NLO Shows

NLO 1443: 43

December 1, 2022

It’s Patrick’s birthday! Patrick went to Barry’s Downtown Prime steakhouse for a delicious birthday dinner, and he is unhappy to report that they still didn’t nail the temperature on his steak. Patrick has a bombshell from Agent O. Allegedly Leslie Jones assaulted and cost a bartender his job after a recent interaction. Josh Denny claims to have talked to Kanye West for hours, and is possibly going to be working on his new clothing line! Is it a lie? Chappelle is hosting SNL and the writers are threatening to boycott. The Oscars are trying to become relevant again by bringing back Jimmy Kimmel, as if anyone is interested. …

NLO Shows

NLO 1442: SWAT Dream

November 16, 2022

There’s a good chance we aren’t going to make it. All aboard the crazy train! Patrick Is hopped up on Indian food and promoting the new stuff over in the NLO Store. Patrick is excited about his upcoming birthday so please buy him something immediately or send dollars. Patrick wants to really start using the PO Box so send in your weird stuff immediately! We go over a brief history of SWATing and how it works. Is Less Than Jake dead yet because Patrick has memories about it. Apologies for the crappy sign, but it could be a lot worse. Captain Paprika himself, David Hollywood Hulett cuts his live stream when they discover NLO watching! Thai goes to Ocha to “hang out” now. Patrick makes a mistake about GrandTheftGinger Ryan Bourassa.. …

Aftershow Video

Aftershow 1441: Halloween Spectacular!

November 16, 2022

Patrick is back with a FREE apology show to make up for the cancellation of last night's aftershow! It's the anniversary of Butch Bradley stealing $1200 from Patrick! We get in to some hot BBQ talk and give a warning for anyone who wants to brine a turkey this Thanksgiving.If you think you know everything there is to know about rubs and coarse ground pepper, you have another thing coming! We present a very scary HALLOWEEN edition of The Tweets I Seen, featuring Casper The Comic in heels and lipstick. Angie Krum cannot stop herself from grabbing low-hanging comedy fruit, and she wants you to be hacky on the radio like her! Our old friend Nick Starr is back posting mental breakdowns and publicly airing out his relationship drama on social media again.


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